i don't like tea

So Long, Farewell

2011-07-07T15:33:00.001+01:00

Two years ago i started writing this blog, actually, a little more than two years ago now, and from my very first post up until my last post, it's been nothing but 100% me.

I'm at a point in my life now where i feel i need to start making some massive changes in my life, a wise man once said

"you have to be the change you want to see in the world"

well a wise man's speech writer, but you get what i mean.

Over the last two years or so, you guys have shared my joy and my pain, me finding love and me losing love, the subsequent heartbroken posts were a dark time for me too, but you guys rode out the storm with me. Thank You.

I've written material for the guys, and material for the girls, something for my mum and something for my sisters, an ode to the unknown and an ode to maybe baby's, and through it all you guys were ride or die.

Thank You

I'd like to take this time to also thank the people who read this blog, anyone who ever clicked on a facebook link or a tweet or randomly found themselves here via Google, i appreciate each and every one of you for taking the time to read the thoughts of a young man tryna find his way.

i'd like to name names but i don't think that would be fair, but if you're associated with me in any way where you've independently visited my blog, i wanna say thank you to you too.

So i'm packing my digital pen and my digital bags, and bidding farewell to Idontliketea2, it's been fun, i've enjoyed each and every minute i've spent writing this blog, goodbye and good luck.

Remember to always, no matter how hard the rain falls, to Stay Up

My name is Michael Fisher and it has been a pleasure.

I Ain't Mad at Ya

2011-06-01T19:36:00.001+01:00

here's looking at YOU

2010 huh, that's it, done and done, i'm gonna list some things i learned this year and also some confessions, if you read these and think it relates to or is about you, it probably does and is, this isn't a cryptic puzzle. Here goes.

NEVER, under any circumstances chase a man or woman who says "i don't know", you know what, it's not worth it, just tell him/her to fuck off and live your life as before, you'll be a happier man/woman for it.

She's a liar, She's selfish, She's disloyal, She's not who you thought she was.

Sometimes your ex is better than the next, by a fucking country mile.

Men are stupid stupid creatures, don't think we are unaware of this.

I have been drinking way too much in the second half of this year.

I'm stronger than i was in 2009

I have five real friends, the rest are just people i know.

I don't care about many people's feelings, i'm selfish.

There are a lot of people out there too scared to be alone, so they settle for less than they're worth.

Some people couldn't see a priest on a mountain of salt.

She likes bad boys, sadly i'll never be one of them, so her and I will never be. (silently, i wait in anticipation that this changes)

2 women this year have made a difference in my life. One i'll always love, the other can kiss my ass.

your age does not determine your maturity, i now know for certain one 27 year old is a child.

I promised a mother to always keep her daughter smiling.

your attitude determines your altitude

i don't miss university.

i have a SPECIAL sense of humour and maybe one person in the entire world completely gets it.

everyone is an attention seeker in some respect, including me...even The Pope..yes i said it.

Life is on a knife edge, and it could be over before you know it, one wrong turn on your Sat-Nav and the next thing you'll see is another cars headlights by your face, live how you want to, not how everyone else thinks you should, tomorrow isn't promised.

i'd rather be alone than be undervalued.

Don't get mad at me, this is just what i've noticed about myself and those around me this year, in 365.25 days. I had my own trials this year, some changed my life forever, some changed other peoples lives forever, but isn't that what we're here for, to change, to evolve, to be better and do better than we're doing right now? Don't get mad at me, i ain't mad at you.

"good, better, best.
Never let it rest.
Until you're good is better
and your better is best."

ladies and gentlemen, for the last time in twenty-ten...

Stay Up

(it's now June and i wrote this in December, why have i only just put this up??)

Better Than Good Enough

2011-06-01T19:34:00.000+01:00

So i'm flicking through web-pages almost on auto-pilot, because i'm now sitting in my office bored outta my mind on a Friday night ( why am i still here?) and i'm reading my twitter timeline and @PurpleRamblings RT'd a link to http://www.christianarants.com/ and her post on "why we shouldn't overlook nice guys" from a woman's perspective of course.

As i'm reading through it, i'm nodding along in agreement "yup, that's true" "uh huh, you tell them girl" and i'm starting to notice ~~my penis disappear~~ that i know A LOT of women who display this behaviour for a variety of reasons explained on Christiana's blog.

Now what i started thinking of is the predicament some guys me are faced with sometimes in life, the nice guy, but the nice guy who knows all about the game, who know's the rules, who's broken the rules and who's set his own rules, is to not always be the one who get's chosen but who ends up being that dude who she'll refer to as "the one that got away"

And so, an epiphany, i noticed something about the game too and please correct me if i'm wrong here, women who are faced with that dude who's everything she's ever wanted, and is seemingly the perfect balance between Mr Nice and Mr Not So Nice do not know what to do with themselves when this dude walks into their lives.

And i'll break it down into a basic observation i've made.

1) she's not too sure what to expect from him, because, like Russian Roulette, this dude could go off at any moment.

2) he makes her feel almost weightless by the way he treats her, looks at her, kisses her, and she doesn't understand or welcome the feeling of not being in control of her emotions.

3) like all of us, when dealing with the unknown, she'll retreat, because "it's too good to be true"

Now is this the fault of Mr Balance that he's expanded his portfolio and thus become a man who struck the perfect, well, balance?

I wanna leave you with a question, more-so for the ladies, but fellas you can answer too. Are we as men doomed to be one or the other, and not six of one and half a dozen of the other?

Poem "Used To Be"

2011-06-01T19:31:00.000+01:00

(One of a few new posts, a quick poem i wrote a long time ago after a bullshit situation i shoulda never got myself into, hope you enjoy)

Every now and then I get the feeling

seeing you again might be appealing.

Then I realise I'm trippin,

Must be all this rum I'm sippin.

Whether you were my wifey or my trifey.

I locked you off, rightly...so
Babygirl, you jus had to go.



Don't get caught up on this male

What I sell, isn't for sale

My one feeling...to buy, you failed.

Coz my store is closed for refurbishment.

The previous owner was a case of abandonment.

Metal shutters are up, old mail piles up.

Fuck all that, there is NO rewind, button.

Free spirit now, you can't tell me nothin'

Childish comments you can make,

even seems like you're half baked,

Living in your life like a movie.

c'mon sweety, if i'd let you, again, you'd do me.


There is not cut and action

Just decisions and reactions

Apparently you can sell fire in hell.

Water to a well

Stop biting jay-z

You couldn't sell freedom in a cell.


Come at me with that dumb shit,

Please believe I don't give a shit

Your feelings wrists I WILL slit

Welcome to the part of me I keep in a gravel pit.

Delete my number, my facebook and my twitter.

No one likes to see someone online and bitter.

i realise the irony in what i just said,

like you realise the iron in you,

from giving me head.


Accept the fact you aren't for me,

You'll never be a product of this satisfactory factory.

there is no time to make a bragain and plea

you just blew the once chance i gave you, with me.

Stay Up

Winning

2011-03-13T09:54:00.000Z

So, i've been away from here for a while, who knows why, i always say i'ma be blogging more, or more often, but then this thing called life gets in the way and fucks up my rotation, apologies for that.

Today i'ma speak on couple of things, so just stick with me on this one.

I've been thinking more and more about this Charlie Sheen circus that the media seems to be feasting off of.

But, the more i watch it, and the more i see his interviews, the more i think to myself "what's the big deal, just let the man live." And then i had my moment of clarity while reading comments on youtube about his behaviour in the interview, and this moment of enlightenment kinda related to something i read once:

"if you don't accept their money, they can't tell you what to do"

Now obviously this does refer to money as an actual, tangible thing, that if someone gives you, they feel this power or this "right" that because they've given you something financially valuable, they can tell you where to go, what time to be there and what the consequences are if you don't go.

But then i started thinking about the broader meaning of the quote, like if someone you know gives you something, something that helps you in your life, they then start to behave as if you now owe them something, and if you cannot pay them back in some sort of way then you should do with that thing what they say you should, and i have two words for this kind of thing "fuck that"

As someone who's had a job since he was old enough to have one, having my own things and spending my money the way i want to has always been something i've taken pride in. Of course my job telling me what to do AT work is fine, but i'll be damned if an individual person who doesn't put food on my table can tell me what to do with my life.

Going back to Charlie Sheen real quick, the reason i think what he's doing isn't as bad as the Picasso's in the media would have you think, is because the man isn't doing what CBS wants him to do, he's saying "fuck you, fuck your show, fuck your money, how i live has nothing to do with you, i get shit done at work, the moment i walk out of those doors, you are no longer in control" and i totally agree with that, i understand what it feels like to be almost imprisoned or trapped by your employer, where because you rely on their money to live, you allow them to take the absolute piss out of your life....until you decide you've had enough, sadly CBS seems to think Charlie hasn't had enough and he still owe's them.

Dave Chappelle walked away from his show, from $50million, from the fame, from the control which Comedy Central wanted to have over him, and he personifies that quote up there, but yet, people still think he has the problem, watch this video and this video and tell me who has the bigger problem, Dave, or the people who think he's insane.

We all have a choice, to be who we want to be, not what someone paying us wants us to be, the only difference is some people have the courage to choose themselves over their bank balance, to choose their life over colouring within the lines society has indoctrinated in us since childhood.

I'm not tryna tell anyone reading this to quit their job and go and live in a hut in the forest, because i understand we all have responsibilities, all i'm saying is try to maintain your life and the power to live it your way. Do what you do, love what you do, as long as you do you.

"i always get in trouble for being honest"

- Charlie Sheen

There Are No Refunds

2011-02-20T09:54:00.002Z

Howdy peeps, been a while huh? hope this finds you all in a good place.

OK, so i know it's been a month since my last blog post, but i've been pretty busy, but now i've finally got some time off work and time to write again.

So the other day, i'm having a group discussion with some good people, about a situation that has become more than it should have ever been.

We're all sitting there giving reasons and explanations to why it has transpired this way, why there has been the ultimate sin commited between humans, miscommunication. Throughout the convo, i'm sitting there and listening, absorbing, soaking in all the opinions in the room, because all of the opinions were respected and appreciated.

Then i started thinking about myself, my actions, my re-actions, to things that have arisen, and it hit me, in life there are no refunds, no receipts, no return policies for the decisions we make. And that's where i've realised how accepting i am of that and how other people choose to ignore and disregard that big ass red sign behind the "life decisions" counter that says "NO REFUNDS"

There was a time when i'd torture myself over the thing's i'd said or done, where i'd always want to undo and take back what i said, but then as i've become more self aware and self secure i've realised, that i will never take anything i say or do back, if it is something i meant or something i felt in that moment and it was honest, then please believe i'm not taking anything back to that Life Decisions counter.

I understand that it can be cold, it can be insensitive, and for that i am occasionally apologetic, but to apologise for my actions and for my words is to apologise for me being me and i'll be damned if i ever have to do so for the sake of other people who haven't read the terms and conditions attached to being an adult.

Here's what i'm getting at: In this life or the next, we will all substantiate that what other people feel, or say has NOTHING to do with what we feel or say about us. You know what i mean?

We can all sit there and play the blame game, but don't point the finger at the truth, the truth didn't ask to be blamed, it didn't ask to be made the scapegoat, and the reason it doesn't ask for these things is because the truth knows, that those pointing fingers at it already have three fingers pointing right back at them.

This moment of clarity came directly from that conversation, directly from a situation that has spawned into a beanstalk seemingly overnight, my name is not Jack, and i don't plant magic beans, I'm not responsible for what other people say or do, i am responsible for me, and i will defend my actions 'til the death, because i've stayed true, make sure you do too.

"If you don't like my words, don't listen.

If you don't like my appearance, don't look.

If you don't like my actions, turn your head;

It's as simple as that"

Stay Up

Thank You Please

2011-01-19T19:31:00.000Z

Ok, so the other day i'm having a BB convo with a friend of mine, and she's telling me about this client she's working with, who's manners, or lack there of, are appalling.

This got me thinking about our society, our culture, our sub-cultures even, the little microcosms within our lives that represent, what to us, is the majority. How do we treat one another and how much we've lost along the way?

As always i speak from my own experiences, so what i'm about to write represents me, and what MY ideal of respect and manners should be, so take from this blog post what you will.

Growing up with two sisters (one older, one younger) respect was always a priority in my household, growing up in Africa, a "please" and a "thank you" were already expected of you, of your family and of anyone you met in your daily life, it was so deeply routed in my culture, that anything contrary to that was alien to me.

Then i moved to the UK, and it was literally like visiting a new planet, where the natives spoke the same language as me, but seemingly, didn't understand how to communicate that language accordingly, respect and manners were lacking.

What has crept into our society though, is the slow, terminal, avoidable, illness that chivalry has contracted over time. Almost like a smoker who thinks they'll never get lung cancer, coz "that just won't happen to me".

When did it become okay for guys to speak to girls the way they do? I see young teens now, and they say "oi lighty*, what you sayin" and it's like, is this the representation of manhood that our young teenage girls have to look forward to? whatever happened to "excuse me, my name is......and i noticed you and thought i'd come and introduce myself" instead of "so can man get your bb pin then?"

Let me break it down for those of you hard of understanding. The treatment you receive from others, is only given to you because you accept it, have a standard, and if a guy, or a girl, does not meet your criteria or that standard, then they are not worthy of your attention, simple.

And if you allow them to call you "oi" or "lighty" then as someone once told me, "if you do not listen, you must feel" is what will happen, and that you will.

So you can take that to the bank and tell them Mike sent you.

Another thing, when did it become ok for girls to speak to their mothers the way they do? I cannot envision a scenario when raising my voice above my mother's will/has occured, when (even if i'm right) i will disrespect her, whether privately or publicly, because i know, she will not stand for it, ever. Like i mentioned in the previous paragraph, she has a standard, and i am expected for the rest of my mortal life, to maintain that standard, not only towards her, but to every woman i meet. I open doors for women, i say please and thank you for every and anything i ask for, or receive, i will offer to carry a woman's shopping bags for her, whilst also understanding the independence a woman has, but regardless of who she is, reverence and respect will be given, no question about it, and sadly, these things are foreign to guys who are only 5 years younger than me. Has our generation lost that much in the time it takes for a rapper to be famous and then not so famous anymore....hi Ja Rule.

Ok seriously.....what i'm getting at is this...being polite and respectful to anyone, especially strangers, goes a long, long way. Regardless of who they are or where they come from, it is always nice to be nice, because you never know, that man or that woman you're speaking to may change the course of your life. Whenever we meet someone new, on a personal level, our paths have crossed for a certain reason and if it so happens that that reason results in love or hate, in the end, what you will have left is pride, that we maintained our standards, and a lesson learned.

I understand i'm not perfect and sometimes i falter at some of the things i just wrote, but i try, and will continue to do so until i don't have to write a blog about it anymore.

"It is more important to be righteous, than be right" - Lauryn Noel Hill

so what do y'all think, where did we lose our way? Have we lost our way? What are your prerequisites for others and the way they speak to or treat you?

Stay Up

What Men Want (pt 2)

2011-01-15T21:07:00.000Z

So back in November i wrote about What Men Want and it got a good reaction from readers and bloggers alike.

Today i want to conclude what i should have done a month ago (procrastination, like cocaine, is a helluva drug) lol, so i'm gonna get into this, tell me if you feel me.

What Men Want pt.2

Sex

Any man who says this is not an important factor or need to satisfying him and his needs, is a liar, and if he's lying about that, then what else is he lying to you about?

As humans, not just men, we have an everlasting, innate desire to pro-create. Just so happens that as man has evolved and the world of sex has gone through it's own metamorphosis, so have we as males.

Men want not just sex from a woman they want to be with/are already with. They want to pushed to the boundaries of sexual desire, to please you and to be pleased. Tell us what you're into, this is what we want, and any real man will know, that if you make her happy sexually, you will harvest the benefits. Ladies, the saying "if you ain't doing your man right, he knows someone else that will" is around for a reason. Now i'm not saying do ANYTHING your man wants, although i'm not not saying it either, all i'm saying is pay attention to his physical desires, as a young philosopher once said:

"you be my nympho i'll be your nympho" simple, but effective, not to mention, absolutely true.

Respect.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. find out what that means to US.

I have witnessed so many relationships fail due to lack of respect, a mutual lack of respect even.

Respect isn't something that you can just dish out all willy nilly, it is a privilege. Ladies, the quickest way to get your man to become that dude you warn all your girls about, is to become disrespectful to him, the life he chooses to live and his mama.

There is a simple mantra to take note of with us men, Give Respect, Gain Respect, like i said in the last post, we are simple, and we desire simple things.. The respect superhighway is but a mere millisecond away from a pile up on the M25 that backs you up for eight junctions. We want our woman to respect us, not fear us, there is a difference where some "wastemen" think that if your girl fears you, she respects you, there isn't enough cyber ink in my cyber pen to explain how wrong that is. So just remember, your man wants to be respected as a person, just as you do.

Give it, Gain it, Share it, Love it, Be it.

Support

Ok, this one right here is a deal breaker if ever i've known one. As a man, there is nothing more undeniably alluring to us, than when your girl supports what you do. If she know's your heart is in the right place, and it's for the benefit of you and her, that support will carry over and is immeasurable.

Ladies, regardless of what your man does, of what his profession is, support him. The absolute last thing any of us wants, is to come home and have you bitching about how "we ain't shit." Lemme tell you something, the more you tell your main he ain't shit, the more he'll start looking for someone else to prove that YOU ain't shit, and as the line goes, there is always someone out there waiting to ask your man "can i upgrade you", then you'll be alone, and single, and crying on your bed, tear soaked pillows, for your "ain't shit" man...help your man build the foundations of the house you wish to share with him. Don't give him a sledge-hammer to destroy them.

Me Time

Ladies, you ever come home and your man is on that damn X-Box that you hate so much, he's fully engrossed in Black Ops, or FIFA or whatever you think he loves more than you? I'ma let you in on something here, the reason he loves those things, is because those things AREN'T you.

Let me explain. to us, you are everything, the beginning and the end, Alpha and Omega, but what you aren't is a distraction and an outlet to stress. No real man will take his frustrations out on his girl, because if she's doing the aforementioned three things right, he'll have more sense than that. That's what "our time" is for, to just get away for an hour, maybe two, from the bullshit and the drama of everyday life that doesn't include you, so give him his time.

Again, it may seem ridiculous to want to play a video game with a stranger online, who's halfway around the world, but again, we're simple, and we desire simple things. give him his space every now and then.

Your Friends

This one isn't so much what we want, but it;s something we damn sure take a keen interest in. Who do you hang out with on the regular? Who's your best friend? Do you have any guy friends, and if so, how long have you known them, is there a history, and does he have a girlfriend?? For real, coz i tell you what, and this may hurt you sensitive types out there, some guys are not your friends, they're hangers-on, waiting for you to give them an opportunity to have sex with you, and i know some of y'all reading this are thinking "no way, not Kenny, he's so sweet" yea, him too, in fact, Kenny is the worst one.

Anyway, i digress...watch the company you keep, because a man notices these things, i personally look at who a girl surrounds herself with, because birds of a feather do flock together, regardless of how much you think you're different from your friends, there's a reason you're friends, and those reasons are your similarities.

If a sheep is part of a flock, it is not exempt from being eaten by the wolves, in other words, you are who you are seen with. sad but true.

ok, that was a long post and my first one of 2011, i can feel my inner Dr Phil rejoicing inside as i type this. No for real, this is just my opinion on men, i'm one of them, so i should know. I can't give my opinion on women, because i haven't got a clue what you ~~crazy~~ ladies want.

More posts coming soon, i'm just a bit swamped at the moment.

"It's the simple things in life we forget"

as always, Stay Up

(for my new readers, here is why i write "Stay Up" as my sign off)

(guest post) Dear Shopping..I Love You, But I Hate You

2010-12-19T16:25:00.003Z

life is all about change and growth, and here at idontliketea we're all about the latter and obsess over the former, so for the next week or two, we'll be having a few guest bloggers coming through, their views are strong, their topics varied, their views are independent and individual and that's what we love most, the idisyncrasy of them all (the blogs) so please show some love to the guests of idontliketea. This week we have the lovely PurpleRamblings check out her blog here.

Ahem *Clears throat, stands up*

I am PurpleRamblings and I am a shopaholic...

*throws arms up in the air* I LOVE SHOPPING!!

I LOVE new purchases, fresh from their packaging. Fabulous, gleaming, skyscraper heels with that new shoe smell, perfume squeaking from it's packaging that has to be pumped a multitude of times before it'll release it's fabulous scent, rainbow colours of nail varnish waiting to take their place on the dressing table, trainers bought for visits to a gym that is never visited, coats for all occasions, short and long and padded and tight and cropped and double-breasted and leather and cotton and denim, skirts and shorts and t-shirts and hundreds and thousands of pairs of socks, which are quickly unpaired and thrown into the vat of mismatched sockness with which I like to cocoon myself. That warm, pit of the stomach happiness I experience walking around the house in a new pair of heels is second to none. Having mini-me was cool and that, but it was truly a once in a lifetime experience. The new shoe experience can literally last forever.

I like to buy things, various accoutroumental items that give me that warm "I spent money and got something new that I didn't need" feeling.

The only thing... Is that I HATE GOING TO THE SHOPS!! Absolutely loathe it, from the bottom of my warm fuzzy over shopped heart. Contradictory I know. But hear me out...

The buzz I get from the purchase of goods, cos I know that's exactly what it is, an empty buzzy feeling of fulfillment associated with the purchase of goods, is ruined… By people!

People that are everywhere!

People… Stepping on my toes. People… In front of me when I want to pay. People… In front of me when I want to try things on. People… Taking the last one in my size. People… Hovering over, in front of, behind me when I'm looking at something. People… Bashing my knees with their own empty purchases. People… Just there! Everywhere I turn! RUINING MY SHOPPING! Add to that the fact that they move things from rack to rack, aisle to aisle, so the size you want all though in the store is unlocatable because some thoughtless person has moved it! PEOPLE RUIN SHOPPING FOR ME!! I have on occasion walked past a shop, seen something fabulous in the window and gone in, only to u-turn when I see the ant-like swarms descending on the items. Saturday shopping is something that I NEVER DO and don’t even get me started on such occasions as “January sales” events like this are my kryptonite and will have me running for the hills credit cards in tow.

Contradictory I know considering the scale of the love of shopping, but I’ve found a way round it… Online shopping! The people free equivalent. Where I get to remain in the confines of my boudoir, wine glass in hand, MacBook at the ready to have a leisurely “stroll” through the online archives. No one standing on my toes, no queuing, no bashed knees, just cosy shopping bliss. Where I can be so specific with my search that “red, knee length, backless, sequined, pencil, dress” is easier to find then tinsel at Christmas. And is there anything better then your goods being hand delivered to your door... I think not.

World Wide Web I bow to thee xx

Teyalilly.com

2010-12-14T12:16:00.001Z

Bonjour people, first post of December, which seems a bit weird considering i had five posts in November. Anywhoo, I'm here today to do a little light infotainment with this post, i'm gonna introduce those who haven't already, to Teyalilly.com

Teyalilly is an online greeting card emporium run by a friend of mine, with the cutest daughter you're ever likely to see, who also happens to be the impetus/personification of Teyalilly.

Born from the undying desire for more variety, more choice, and a piece of Art commissioned for my friend's daughters bedroom, it evolved into more than just a painting on a wall, it sparked the inspiration for the Teyalilly project.

I've been blessed to witness this metamorphosis of Teyalilly, from when it was but an idea, to seeing the Teyalilly website count down the days until launch, to having a sneak peak at the cards before most people got to see them and lastly watching my friend work her bum off to make this dream happen.

And that right there, i feel, is in a microcosm, a testament not just to Teyalilly but to my friend too.

I personally love the cards, every single one of them, the design, colours and message on each card is what stands out for me. As we're coming up to probably the busiest time of year for a lot of us, where sometimes we may not have the time to go out and physically buy cards for our loved one's, Teyalilly.com is the place to be in 2010 for all your Christmas card needs. Not forgetting above and beyond 2011.

I know me writing this seems like shameless promotion, and it is, because i believe in this project, i believe in my friend's ability to be self made, in the potential in Teyalilly to be

I try not to promote anything commercial on this blog, no adverts, not pop ups, just pure education/information/entertainment, but i feel my readers deserve to have a Teyalilly Christmas, to have a Teyalilly Valentines, to have a Teyalilly Birthday, you know what, just to HAVE Teyalilly, because when the bandwagon pulls up outside your front door, i'm gonna be driving it, and i'll be the one saying "i told you so."

So have a gander at the website and follow her on twitter, spoil your loved one's this Holiday Season and give them something they won't get from someone else, a Teyalilly card.

visit www.teyalilly.com

follow: Teyalilly Twitter @TeyaLilly

Stay Up

Silence is Golden?

2010-11-22T16:20:00.000Z

hello children, seems like the more blogs i read, the more compelled i am to compose a rebuttal, and the more i discover my newly found relationship therapist within.
As i was browsing through the web today a friend of mine, the lovely Hopeful Romantic Retweeted a link to Charlotte's website where she discusses the "silent treatment" that men often give women. I'm reading along and there are a lot of questions and proposed solutions to this phenomena that has been going on in the sticky world of dating for years upon years.

As a man reading this it definitely gave me an insight into the mind of a woman, the other half of the tale, the half that us men never get to see or care about sometimes.
Charlotte's post had a few questions in it, some of which i'll attempt to answer, not because i'm trying to excuse the silent treatment, more so because i've done it, and there isn't a man i know who hasn't, and i feel women don't understand why we do it, not to everyone, but certain women.
What i'm gonna do here is take extracts from her post and put a little reasoning into the man's silence. Here we go.

"After all there’s only so long you can convince yourself that somehow their email, mobile phone and Facebook have simultaneously been destroyed in a freak gas explosion."

First off, the answer is in the statement itself. A man does NOT enjoy being hounded by a woman he does not share blood with/is not his girlfriend, this is the be all and end all of this. Don't flood his means of communication with texts, emails, pokes, tweets, bbm's and the like. It's irritating, it's annoying and most importantly it leads to radio silence and of course the inevitable "it's this chick again" statement to his boys about you, yes you, "that chick." But you really get on and he's such a nice guy and you've told all your friends about him? Yep, the same guy, he's ignoring you now because you're demonstrating some very odd behaviour for someone we've been on what, 3 dates with, i know to some of you ladies this is around the time you start thinking ahead and could he be your man? But trust me, if you haven't met his best friend, he hasn't even considered it yet, wait for the best friend.

The more she got ignored, the more she started doubting the tone of her texts. The more paranoid she got about the texts, the more she tried to put it right by reasoning to the good nature he surely had - with another text…

Ladies, there is such a thing as cutting your losses. If a man, who seemed to like you one day, but pretends like he's lost the ability to communicate the next, does not respond to any of your calls/txts/emails, write it off, chalk him up as one in the loss column and keep it moving. Trust me on this, you need to just let it go, because believe me , he already has. I know it's not ideal, especially when you think you've found someone who you fancy the Levi's off of, but if he's ignoring you when it's something pretty important (Read Charlottes blog) then is he really worth all those tears and all that wine??

If you read the post in it's entirety the woman in question called him out on something that changed dramatically in his life the day after they had a perfect evening together, why would he do this? Let me explain in one short, blunt sentence, he's found someone better...WAIT...just wait, before i start getting hate mail, he's found someone better for him, not necessarily better than you, just better for him. Make sense?

"I was gutted. He clearly didn’t want to talk about his feelings and I couldn’t force him BUT..."

Nope, sorry, ladies, there is no "but" just let him go, trying to get a man to explore and even worse communicate his feelings about you is something that you cannot force and that he will not succumb to until he is ready. Don't bother trying to decipher every conversation we've ever had with you, if you said something wrong, if you upset him or if the food you made for him wasn't good enough. This time, if it's feelings we're talking about, and strictly feelings, this is the point where he'll say "its not you, it's me" and as cheesy and textbook as that sounds, it's in all likelihood true. Remember in my last post where i said men are simple, this is where it applies, sometimes it's just that plain, we can't express our feelings to or about you, so we'd rather not, and stupidly we think that silence and ignoring the problem that it(you) will go away, hence, the silent treatment. Don't torture yourself over him and try to make his reasoning complex or wrap it in complication, it's not.

The silent treatment is a selfish method of dealing with a situation which ironically we can't deal with. There are a variety of reasons, but in my opinion, the main three are as follows:

1) it's you, you've become too clingy too soon, and it's a little distressing to be honest, and his last psycho girlfriend nearly killed him ( a brutha still gets flashbacks)

2) he wanted one thing from you, he got it, now he's found someone to be with and it's not you. (harsh but true)

3) its actually him, whether he has insecurities, commitment or communication issues, they're not going anywhere, anytime soon, cut your losses, he wasn't worth it at the end of the day.

And that, as they say, is mt two pence worth, hope you enjoyed. Fellas, if you've ever given a girl the silent treatment, why? Ladies if you've ever received the silent treatment, did you find out why or do you not care?

holla at ya boy

regardless of circumstance, remember to always......Stay Up.

What Men Want

2010-11-18T10:31:00.001Z

Yup, i'm about to go there, we've all heard about what women want, we've all watched "What Women Want" and if you haven't, fellas, you need to. I was reading Brothers With No Game and it got me thinking about what MEN want, out of a woman, a potential partner to be. Having spoken with few good men, we came up with some things we think have become universal prerequisites for Mrs Right, not Mrs Right Now.

Here we go.....

Looks
Yup, that's the first thing we as men see, we don't know about you, your job, your family, or your ~~daddy issues~~insecurities, all we see is your beauty. As shallow as it sounds i think it's fair to say that there isn't a single man on this Earth who crossed a crowded room to go and speak to an ugly stranger. I know that's hard to take for some people, but let's be real about this, we all do it, man or woman, i just think maybe men focus more on aesthetics because of our egos. We want to walk down the street with a woman that OTHER women look at and think, "damn."

Demeanour
More commonly known these days as "swagger." How does she carry herself around company, is she the quiet type who sits back and observes and speaks when necessary? Is she the bold, intelligent one, the funny one with all the jokes but seemingly the smartest of her crew too?
Believe it or not, men take this into account once we've now established you fit the above criteria. We'll observe you mannerisms, your dress sense, (slutty or sexy, slutty is no bueno.) the way you speak, how you walk, how you deal with other guys who approach you with their Gung ho attitude. Believe me, the smart men analyse all of these things, how you conduct yourself is certainly in the Top 5 things when we're considering a potential.

Attitude
As they say, "your attitude determines your altitude" and this is never more true than when we first speak to you. We've gone through our first two steps and plucked up the courage to come and speak to you, so the next 30-45 seconds will tell us whether you're wifey or trifey. I have spoken to many a woman and within the first minute of speaking to her, i've already made up my mind if this is worth pursuing for one of two reasons. Is she worth getting to know on a deeper emotional, intellectual level, or is she worth me chatting up and taking her home, never to speak to her again after tonight? This is how we think, we're men, it's not complicated, it's one or the other, we're not trying to change you or mould you into what we want you to be, we just want what we see, and if that's a potential girlfriend, or just a potential orgasm, we'll find out based on your....attitude.

Nurture
Hey, congratulations, you made it past the first 3 steps, but what more do we want, surely there can't be more? Au contraite mon frere, we have a few more questions: Do you care? Simple question, diverse answer. Are you a carer? Do you look after those around you? can you cook well, because that's the easiest way to a man's heart, you skills in the kitchen and the home. As medieval as that may sound, we all want a woman who we know can rustle up a meal out of nothing, who you can come home to from Sunday League, battered and bruised and know she'll want to, not have to, take care of your injuries for you.. It's more than the fact you can cook or clean, it's the fact that you're a provider, as women look for a man who is stable financially and has the building blocks to erect a house, we look for a woman who can make that house a home.

Heart
This one, for me personally, surpasses all before it. Passion. I look for the passion in you, the drive and ambition to go against the grain, to be who you want to be, not who others think you should be. A severe lesson i learned this year is that Passion trumps Reason, and contrary to popular belief, let Passion guide you, don't allow reason to blind you. Men want passion from the Woman we seek, we don't want Reason, with all of it's explanations and definitions and logic, that's what we're here for. As nature goes, we're the one's who take things at face value, so we gotta have you with all of your passion and emotion to balance that out for us.
I'd rather live with Passions Pride than Reasons Regret.

These are only five things that me and a small group of men think are absolute when scouring the Earth for the woman we want to end up with. It's no perfect, it's not the blueprint to how all women are, far from it, it's simply what men want....Part 1.

So ladies and gents, what do you think, have i gone too deep on this, what is your criteria, do you agree with the above, if not, why not? Holla at ya boy.

Stay Up
(Part 2 coming Winter 2010 - sex, respect, support, "me time" and your friends.)

Hometown Glory

2010-11-11T14:35:00.003Z

In My City is a poem i wrote on my blackberry one morning on the way to work, i love this town, the people, the traffic, the crowds, yes, even the weather. For anyone who lives here, there is a sense of ownerhip, that even though we live 16million deep, sometimes it feels like it's just you, floating through the metropolis of concrete.

In My City

in my city, the people rise before the sun,

the sun rises before the moon is out,

like a child, running into the living room on noel night,

just knowing he got his first bike.

in my city, there are fiends and farmers, prostitutes and priests,
all riding on the same bus,
in my city, they are all different, but to outsiders,
refer to eachother, as us,

like in my city, no-one can come through,
and not recognise the true talent, of that homeless girl in victoria park
with the crazy hair do.

in my city, we drive around like maniacs,

forced to have disdain for anyone else with the nerve to get in our way.
in my city, there is no colour,

like a mish mash of crayons, which you left in the sun,

they have no name on.

in my city, i see little girls walk around with no respect of self
in my city, i see them perpetuate the stereotype,
that all black boys will end up in a cell
in my city, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer,
in my city, there is no line between who is not, and who is normal.

in my city, there is nothing you cannot find,

from the side streets of shoreditch,

to the wide streets of camden,

in my city, every building has my name on.

in my city, we have drug dens and crackhouses,

a fiend walks out, not knowing where her blouse is.

in my city we have heavens gates, golden arches and river dates,
in my city, the food is just great, will transport you to another world,

where children sleep in boxes and crates.

in my city immigrants are a dime a dozen,

we walk around oblivious to the fact, the most of us, are one of them.

in my city racism is flourescent,

like cum stains on white sheets, ever present

something you will not see if you do not look for it,

but if the right light is shone on it

it never ends, like the sound of deaths feet.

in my city, we have hostels and palaces,

we live in ignorance, not knowing what the business is.
in my city, i will live in joy and in sorrow,

because in my city there is no day like this, not even the morrow.

in my city, out of one, comes many people,

like the most high point on a church, the steeple.

this great city, i will love, protect and honour,

sometimes even pity, for this.......is my city.

"by seeing London, i have seen as much of life as the world can show"

Samuel L. Jackson

Stay Up

Enough Is Enough

2010-11-09T16:52:00.004Z

Every now and then the women on my social networks and in my personal life get a bout of man hating in their system. I don't know what it is, but it seems to come from a place of such anger and distaste that it became the impetus to an ambitious twenty-something male who's absolutely had it up to here *raises hand above head* with this new found disdain for ALL men, yea i said it, ALL men, apparently fellas, "all men ain't shit".

Oh, you know not of which i speak? Well allow me to retort.
These are but some of the things i've read/had said to me about my gender as a holistic entity

"anyone with a penis...I FU**ING HATE YOU"
"you men make me sick, all of you are cheating bu***rds"
"why are men such ar****les"
"yea, well f**k you and f**k Call Of Duty"

Now, these are but a quick snapshot of a whole list of things i have been reading on my twitter of late, i don't have all day, so i've listed my favourites.
The treatment of men as if we are all guilty of the same crime, the minority has now become the majority according to these ~~bitter~~ women.
Allow me to remind those with short term memory loss about "us men" which you hate so vehemently.

Us men who make you feel so unashamedly happy and smug when you know that the way he makes you feel has no equal.
Us men who you will speak non-stop about to anyone or anything within a 20meter radius of your mouth
Us men whom, for all intents and purposes are the one's you define with an entire r&b album
Us men who through being who we truly are, are what you look for in your future, someone who'll wholeheartedly bend over backwards for you when you need us to be there for you, even if we know it's been snowing for a week and there's the steepest hill where you live, will be there.
Us men who, come rain sleet, hail or the aforementioned snow, will do anything to make you forget that bitch from Finance and do our utmost to make you smile.

But that's just us men, the dogs we are, the selfish heartless bustards, just waiting to get a leg over you and every other oxygen breathing female out there.

Let me tell ya'll who hate us so much, if you don't like us, lump us, dump us or become a lesbian, because believe me, misery loves company, and misery seems to be a female and her friends these days.

Maybe, just maybe, you should take a good, long, hard look in that invention you love so much, the mirror, because maybe all men ain't shit, maybe the men that YOU attract ain't shit.

But hey, You Go Girl, and keep on going, past Bitter Avenue, take a left on Lonely Boulevard and stop when you get to a town called Single And Alone, population...one

Yes, we're not perfect, but we're a damn sight more than you give us credit for.

I hope you're enjoying painting all men with your Sunshine Anderson brush.

hate it or love it, these are my words, and i'm not taking a single one of them back.

rant over.

Stay Up
(and yes i realise the irony of having a Maya Angelou quote at the top, but i know she'd have my back on this one)

Maybe Baby pt 2

2010-11-08T15:08:00.003Z

So moving on from "Maybe Baby" and what seems like a lifetime's worth of the most complicated/confusing bullshit i've ever had to endure, last night i decided to write, conclude and bury the life of a maybe baby, Maybe Baby Pt. 2.

I wanted to write this as a reminder to myself and to anyone else who has been teetering on the edge with anyone of the opposite sex, that we are too good for maybe's, if someone wants to be with you, they will, if they don't, to hell with them, move on, learn your lessons, and live your life in the knowledge and satisfaction that you'll never have to wonder "what if"...they do.

hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it.

i knew it was coming, you maybe babies are all the same

not in your action, but the life you proclaim

silly me and my optimistic bullshit

never again, not even just a little bit.

i've been there and done it,

but still managed to allow you to to repeat it

the same thing as before

why, i have no clue, maybe it was your allure.

tomorrow i'll wake up

and it will still be the same

no change, you'll be a different girl with the same name.

shoulda listened to my mind

"disappointment is all you're gonna find"

"remember the last one,

was that fun?

stop, look, listen, she's not here..

not for the long run, you hear?"

"mike, they're always the same,

maybe babies never change."

like the sun at noon

or the moon at night

don't bother trying, it's not worth the fight.

so i packed my mental shit
threw it in the garbage pit, set fire to it, even added lighter fluid

coz all that baggage you transmit

is sticking to me like a priest in the pulpit

say your goodbyes now,

coz when i leave, i won't answer anymore questions,

no more, when's, why's or how's

and so, been there, done it, gotta look back and laugh

fuck i bought the t-shirt, even got the jeans, the hoody and the scarf

this time, the hurt outweighs cloud nine.
live your life, without you, is how i'll live mine.

maybe babies are all the same

maybe babies, never again.

Stay Up

Maybe Baby

2010-10-24T23:05:00.003+01:00

hey guys, ok, i've been promising to post this poem up to a few of my friends for a long time now, a poem i wrote on March 25th 2010, a day i will always remember, for a variety of reasons.
Not gonna get into the background behind the poem, or the impetus for this form of written expression.
i'll leave that up to you.
Anyway, here it is, comment please, the more critical you are the more i'll appreciate it. gracias.

Maybe Baby

she says we share a bond like no other, that sometimes laying in my arms is like that parallell to her mother.

she says i not only do i tick every box, but i am the box,
knowledge like no man before, calm enough to never start the battle,

but ruthless enough to end the war,

to her friends she will boast

that the quiet one is the one is the one we must fear most.

she says i am the one, not like Neo, No.

but like the one who you wake up in the morning for,

for i am the first thing on her mind, at the break of dawn,

for i am multiple, like the chess piece, the pawn.

you see to her, when it comes to me, all signs point to success,
you see to her, Drakes song is about me, she says, baby YOU the best.

she says when we met, she never thought of me in THAT way..
that i was a surprise and the moves i made on her heart, can't be replaced

not by one, by two, by three or by four...

all of this shit she tells me....i ignore.

For i know that she is a maybe baby

so i tell her, to leave.me.alone.

i say, i do not want to be like your mother,

i want to be your lover

i say to her, that you cannot put me in a box,

i am not a box, fuck the box,

sides i do not have four,

i am infinte, as above and more.

i say to her, your friends know all about thee,

your every example of what's good in your life begins with me,

you are telling them about my quiescence,

my undisturbed valour, values all, a boyfriend makes,

this opportunity you do not take.

i say to her, i am not a pawn, nor am i the king in your chess game
i am the queen, without me, this game has no name,
i am the queen, pushing all out in order to protect the king, i am the queen,

sadly, my heart...you have on a string.

i say to her, stop telling me all of these things if we cannot be together,

i am not here for hurt, pain or disdain...
i am not here for your maybe's hanging on to every hope that one day you can be my baby.

i am not here for your maybe's,

i am here for your heart, your soul, even your crazy,

i am not here for your maybe's, i am here because one day, i want you to have my babies.

Stay Up

if only i could post up the reply to this, filled with the emptiest words i've ever read.....maybe one day.

Tweet-Factor

2010-10-12T18:14:00.000+01:00

Ola muchachas, today i'm not going to get all philosophical and deep on you, yes, i know, sad times indeed, but rather i want to talk about this years X-Factor (the first time i've ever taken an interest in the show) and how Twitter will revolutionize this year's competition.

So i got into it more-so because of my undying love for Rebecca, if anyone reads my tweets on a Saturday between 1930 and 2100 you'll know exactly what i mean.
Anyway, this years X-Factor has seen Twitter become a place of hilarity during the show, the brutal honesty and downright hilarious tweets from some of the people i follow has to be seen to be believed.

And it got me thinking about how much more exciting this years competition will be, whether you're a first timer like myself or a fan from the beginning like many others i know, you NEED to get yourself a twitter account and multi-task during the show and watch Televison with 200 other strangers, it's the most fascinating thing i've witnessed in the world of social media.

From critiquing the contestants (i find it hilarious how we're all professional music critics when we watch these shows), to slagging off the judges for having an opinion that opposes ours, to the wardrobe of some of the contestants, (and by "some" i mean Storm and Katie) to the Cheryl Tweedy haters (you know who you are) to who tweeters find attractive and even down to the adverts shown during the show, shout out to Yeo Valley and the Reebok Easytone commercials.

So, for some of you Flinstones out there who don't have a Twitter account (shame on you) here are my top tweets from this past weekends show, by some of the people i follow.

Oh before you read these, please note, these are tweets people, these are not the exclusive opinions of the people behind the tweets, so if you're uber-sensitive about your reality/music talent shows, don't read any further.

@jadey_jay And those silver leather-looking pants! Has he never seen the episode of Friends where Ross wears the leather pants!! Just no Storm!!

@whisperin_eye No fucking offence but I've heard cats having sex sounding better then these singing

@idontliketea i have a feeling within the 10 weeks x-factor is on, my tweets are gonna double

@harrietta09 I love how Oompa Loompa And I HATE CHER Are trending. Has just made my night.

@MellyStark the new twist on #Xfactor Dermot will read out our Tweets instead of judges comments

@Freudenschade Princes and Rogues? More like Twits & Twats. They've ram-raided Urban Outfitters. Be gone.

@TalkF00tball Would u let him (Wagner) take u to his loveshack?

@Samybabyy_CBE Danni do me a favor and shut up yeah thanks :)

sometimes, i feel that X-Fator should have a screen on the side with a running timeline of all the #xfactor tweets, now THAT would be entertainment.

so, what was your favourite tweet from Saturday and Sunday's show, who's your favourite artist and why.

Stay Up

*click the links of the twitter users to follow them.*

In Thinker Mode

2010-10-04T01:33:00.004+01:00

ok, its 01:07 and i've been in a pretty shitty mood all weekend, i can't sleep and i'm sitting here listening to Anthony Hamilton 'pass me over' on repeat, which, by the way, is one of my favourite songs, ever.

So i've been layin here in my bed, just going through things, trying desperately to get myself to fall asleep.
Anyway, an odd question popped into my head, one i'm quite aware of, but one i don't actually have a definitive answer to.

What is it about older women that i'm attracted to?

Quick history lesson, all the women i've ever taken seriously, as in, invested time and emotion into, has been older than me, by a minimum of 2 years and a maximum of 9 years, with the exception of one girl who's a couple of years younger than me.
It's always been this way, even with those women i've had a "wam bam thank you mam" attitude towards, always older.

Whether a relative stranger or someone i've known previously, there is an aura about older women that i'm attracted to, whatever this supposed aura is, i'll never know, all i know is that it is something that attracts me like a moth to a flame.
As i've had substntial experience with said older women, lemme tell you, it does not come without it's fair share of negativity.

That negativity comes in the form of finding out the answer as to why she's single at this age, seemingly a beautiful woman with undeniable credentials, but yet, single.

That negativity comes in the form of being burned, badly. But that has it's benefit, after the heartbreak, depression, anger, acceptance, happiness cycle, the lesson learned is priceless.

This negativity comes in the form of having to admit "mama was right" when she told me to stay away from older women, because, as sad as it sounds, none of these relationships lasted, why? perhaps it has something to do with what an elder statesmen at my former job once told me "older women are never with a younger man for his sake"

Now i know what you're thinking, "why not try someone your age or younger?"
Believe me, i've tried, but i think because i've had invaluable lessons taught to me by my elders, so to speak, i find it very difficult to take seriously someone younger than me, and yes, no-one is more aware of the hypocrisy of this way of life than me, but it is what it is, i never said this life i live was fair.
Like i said, there is that one exception, she knows who she is, but sadly, she chose a different path, and i can live with that, i don't love her any less, because it's something i preach on this blog, live your own life, not the life others would have you live.

I'm not sure there's a point to this post, just thought i'd share, i'm in thinker mode at the moment.
Just wondering if anyone else out there has a certain trend they've noticed in their partners??
I guess like the song goes...

"if you catch me dreaming, please don't wake me 'til i'm done

just leave me sleeping, until the morning comes"

Stay Up

The Revolt (blame Bangsandabun)

2010-10-01T18:31:00.000+01:00

So today i'm on my blackberry just flicking through emails and a friends of mine, Tate, she sends me an email telling me about this website bangsandabun.com and how there's a new blog post about what men shouldn't wear, and i have to say, i agreed wholheartedly with the items that Bangs had listed.
Now, what i found funny is that Tate doesn't know i've already been on bangsandabun many a time thanks to my desert loving friend, PurpleRamblings, so either way, eventually i would have seen the blog post, and of course, i'd have to make my own list of what women should not wear, don't roll your eyes at me, if Bangs can do it, so can I, equal rights and al that jazz.
So here goes.

Uggs
Yes, i know, controversial, but i really cannot handle these so called shoes. Yes, "they're so comfortable" and i know i'm getting the proverbial finger from alot of my female readers right now, but i.don't.care.
Uggs are ruining the amazing shape women have, whether real or fake, fresh out the box or not, there is no instance in which these god awful shoes look good. Especially when they've been used and abused so much that now you can only walk to the left.
I'm not the only guy with this opinion either, a quick consensus of some of the guys i know agree with this, and to some, myself included, this, as they say, is a dealbreaker. Sorry
(guys, i've seen some of you wearing these monstrosities too, stop that shit immediately)

Chequered print handbags
Yes i said it, this too is the disease that has plagued women's fashion.
Now i for one, appreciate a woman's handbag, many a time it has saved my dignity, and my female friends have had a tissue at hand. What i am not a fan of is seeing a woman walking the streets with one of these bags, i don't care how expensive it was, or how "fashionable" you look, believe me, you don't. You look like an attention seeker. I know for a fact that these labels make bags that are much more subtle and much more elegant than this, so please just stop, this too is a dealbreaker.

Fly Eye Sunglasses
there is not one instance in which i, or any other man find this attractive.
If you're aware of the power a pair of beautiful eyes has on a man, you'll know better than to wear these sunglasses. If you gotta wear shades, what's wrong with a nice pair of Ray Ban aviators or some Dita Beretta's? thank goodness summer is over, coz many-a-time i've had to stop and just shake my head in disappointment at women with half their beautiful face covered by these so called sunglasses.
Yup, you guessed it, dealbreaker.

i could go on and on here, and lord please don't get me started on ballet pumps, so i'ma leave it here for now.
As shallow as it sounds, the way a woman dresses speaks volumes to me, your appearance is the only reason we as men cross a crowded room to come and speak to you, no man in the history of ever has crossed a room for "she looks like a lovely person"...sad but true.

"opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one"

Stay Up

I Know

2010-09-20T23:10:00.002+01:00

so yesterday i'm on my twitter, and one of the people i follow, a friend of mine, tweeted something that was the impetus for this post, that, and also the song "I Know! by Bluey Robinson.

Anyway, the tweet was

"#youknowwhen no matter what you do to keep busy you just can't shake the feeling that something's missing #yeahthat :-( "

and i really hope she doesn't mind me putting that up, but it got me thinking about how you try to fill the minutes, the hours, the days, without that someone in your life, regardless of what you do

Music isn't the same, because music is like a time capsule, almost like how certain smells, no matter where you are, once you smell that scent, it's like the trigger to nostalgia.

And then you get those thoughts, much like my friend had.

So then tonight, i finally got round to listening to Bluey Robinsons music, and i YouTubed him, and his video for 'I Know' i started watching, and it was crazy how i almost fell in love with the song, because it pretty much sums up how so many people i know feel just the same as i do, which in essence we all know, but maybe we don't have someone else there to tell us "hey, t's ok, i know, i know exactly how you feel"

That someone doesn't even have to be your best friend or your family, in my case, it's the song.

What i'm getting at, before i go, is this, it hurts, more than anything before, it hurts that you feel alone in a room full of people, but it's not permanent,,

So even though you probably have amazing friends and family there to be by your side, i wanna let my friend, and also anyone else feeling a little downbeat by heartbreak, or whatever it might be....

i know, believe me, i know...i got you.

Stay Up

The Permanence of Impermanence

2010-08-24T19:56:00.003+01:00

So, i was going through some pictures on my facebook (a place where i want to be less and less these days) and i found an old picture i've seen hudreds of times before, this one:

that's me in the lime green and white vest

Then, like Ike did Tina in the limo, it hit me, i can't even remember that picture being taken, let alone who took the picture, comments on the picture lead me to think my cousin Mikka took it.
All i know is that it's a picture of my cousins and i in a time that the world forgot.

The impermanence of that time combined with the permanence of the photo got me thinking about how far everyone in that image has come.

We have three university graduates, one of which graduated from an Ivy League School, two fathers, a mother, a personal trainer and a Big Brother Africa contestant, way before reality TV was even conceived or our accolades gained, this was our reality, it's sense of nostalgia, or lack there of for me, i was too young, is almost unnerving.

This was before iPods and flatscreen TV's, global terrorism, before Sky+ and
microwave meals.
This was Tevin Campell and cassette players, VHS and The Cosby Show, Coca-Cola On The Beat (you had to be there), when people were "courting" eachother, never hooking up.

As a child i unconsciously set aside the impermanence of life, living instead in an endless present. But as we grow up, we are torn from that present into something exquisitely more painful, that nothing stays still, however much we need it to.

What remains fixed, is this image, 20 years later.

I now find myself almost a stranger to the world that this image represents, an Africa that is so far removed from what it is today. As we change, the image stays still, set as a reminder of what once was.

But, that's the beauty of having such photographs, we were all once part of something.
Every tree has it's roots, I know everyone reading this has pictures we can't bare to look at, but laugh at uncontrollably when we see them. Some of the clothes my mother made me wear in the 90's are considered child abuse in the 21st Century, but would i have it any other way?........would you?

Conversely, there are some pictures we take with certain people we'd never have taken had we known they'd end up representing a sadder time in your life, but again, we live and we learn, documenting these pictures, serving as a reminder to never go back to that place.

Ok this is all getting a little long and i need to go shower, but do me a favour, do yourself a favour, break out those old, dusty, ring bound photo albums.

Look back at the afro's, the jheri curls, the curtains, the scrunchies and the beads, the high fades and the braids and make yourself feel instantly better, and appreciate the journey you've travelled, and lived through all the trials and tribulations you've survived. Nothing is permanent, nothing except the moment in which those pictures capture.

"nothing is permanent in this wicked world..not even our troubles"

Charlie Chaplin

Stay Up

Out of many, One People.

2010-08-18T01:18:00.002+01:00

So, as my journey continues, my path to mental freedom from the past, as mentioned in the post before this one, today i spent some time with 2 of my best friends and their cousin.

Now, i haven't seen these guys in a while, for a variety of reasons, but we stay in touch, you know, just doing what friends do, living our own live's but always keeping eachother informed on what's happening in our lives.

I refrained from telling the about what i told you guys in my previous post, until today.

They both brought me back down to Earth, so to speak, letting me know that no matter how long we're away from eachother, when we all congregate once more, regardless of circumstance or endeavour, we got eachothers back.

So, that was my inspiration for this post, having a team of friends around you, a small team, that united you stand, united you fall. Nowadays i see alot of people wanting to have alot of friends, but not really having good, reliable, honest friends, there for eachother when the shit gets real.

Its funny coz today, before we all met i was listening to a song, and there's a lyric in it i wanna share with you guys:

"Nowadays, your circle should be small as hell,

Ain't trying to meet new faces, this don't interest me,

Even if we bubble slow, we get it eventually."

And that's when i put two & two "twogether" so to speak. I have my team, though it may be small, we stand strong, we stand proud, and we stand tall, and when one of us is down, the other two are there to hold them up, no matter what.

I'm not saying only have two friends, not at all, all i'm saying is be very aware of the company you keep, because when the load gets heavy, there are very few willing to carry the burden with you, those are the few you should have in your circle.

"Out of Many, We are One People"

Stay Up

you made it real for me.

2010-08-14T10:28:00.001+01:00

hey guys, haven't been on here in what seems like forever, adjusting to this new, "non-student" life i guess.

going through some major changes right now, which is probably why i haven't been on here recently.

I wanna share something with you real quick coz, as you know, writing is my outlet for all things cerebral.

I recently decided to stop being in contact with someone, someone who i love, and someone who in the grand scheme of things, made my year.

How am i going to get rid of her? She's there, like an omnipresent being, even though she's hundreds of miles away from home, making a new life for herself, making a new love for herself, its the thought of not having her in my life, in the capacity of which i'd like her to be, that i'm finding the hardest thing, do i have to do this? Absolutely.

Its that ever-present question that we all find at more than one point in our lives:

How do I move on?

is there an answer to this question?
is there a formula to the solution?

Life has taught me that time is the greatest healer, but time is a slow bitch and she takes her own, well....time.

This a little crazy coz it's been less than two weeks since i decided to cut her out of my life, but it seems like it's been two years, i can't tell her how much i miss her, because i'd be breaking the promise i made to myself, to just let her live her life.

If any of you out there have recently left the life of someone who you love/loved, and you're finding this shit to much to deal with, stay strong, it only gets easier, you're not the only one going through it, and believe me, you will get through it, if not, start a blog and then you can moan about it just like me.

is all ever fair n love and war??

Stay Up

To tweet or not to tweet

2010-07-16T11:37:00.000+01:00

That is the question.

See, I've become a lot more active on my Twitter of late, mainly coz I'm getting pretty bored of Facebook and mainly coz I'm trying new angles of meeting people in industry who i can network with to maybe find a new job, it's 2010, this is the way people network these days, so I'm told.

Anyway, I've also decided to try something new, to improve my writing skills, more specifically my comedy writing, which is something I've been able to do verbally, but not write stuff down and actually BE funny.

Now i know what you're thinking, "how hard can it be to write something funny?" it is among the most difficult things I've ever attempted to do in the entire time I've been writing.

So i started thinking about my life and the world around me and what makes me laugh on a daily basis, and it hit me, there are things we all find funny, but that we never notice as being universally funny.

Like when someone is running for the train you're on, and they're at full speed, and you're sitting there thinking to yourself, he's never gonna make it, and JUST as he gets to the train, the doors go, "beep beep beep beep beep beep, pshhhhhhhh" and they slam shut in his face, to me that's hilarious, and I've brought this up with friends, and everyone has their own story of when it happened to them, and when they watched it happen to someone else, and so that's what i started writing about, everyday moments of hilarity, hence my tips for summer 2010

Now, I've also started hopping on Trending Topics or #TT's as they're called in the Twitterverse, and again, I've been getting good feedback on my tweets, some of the tweets I haven't been actively trying to be funny, it's just me mad at the world for things that need to stop, thanks to everyone who found my tweets funny, I appreciate you all.

Now I'm faced with a dilemma, in the name of comedy, how far do I go?

I mean they're only tweets right, and tomorrow they'll be forgotten but now it's like whenever a new #TT comes up, I have this almost overwhelming urge to go farther than I've been before, maybe that's a good thing, pushing my imagination into the farthest corner of my ever-expanding mind to create something out of nothing in 140 characters.

which leads me to my last intrapersonal question "What would Richard do?"

"whatever the fuck make the people laugh, say that shit" Richard Pryor

tips for summer 2010

2010-07-03T10:23:00.001+01:00

last summer i realised a few things that i do not want to see this summer, so for those of you who are unfamiliar with the correct summer etiquette, this post is for you.

Inspired from my twitter and facebook.

#1 - listen up folks, this summer, if you know your feet look like you've been walking in Jerusalem, DO NOT wear open toe shoes....i'm just saying.

#2 - DO NOT use the underground if you know you sweat a lot. I can't hold my breath for more than one stop

#3 - Your lips WILL get dry in this heat, Carmex goes a long way people, lips looking like biltong. kmt

#4 - deodorant is cheap, buy some

#5 - ladies, shave/pluck/wax your underarms, i DO NOT want to see your ashy pits...true story.

#6 - guys, hoodies, trackies and timberlands are for winter, please stop, its not "gangsta"

#7 - skinny jeans in winter was a pandemic, but cycling shorts are NOT acceptable guys...just say no.

#8 - you're wearing all white? that's fine, at least let it be clean whiter than white bright, clothes looking the colour of chewing gum is NOT cool.

#9 - sunglasses are for outdoors, this shit needs to stop, idiots.

#10 - remember it is bloody hot, so if you're drinking in the sun, you r going to get drunker quicker, let's be responsible alcoholics folks. :o)

#11 - Red wine in excess WILL make you throw up....as displayed last night.

#12 - baby wipes are not just for babies.

#13 if any guy u know wear Brut, Joop or Old Spice, tell him to jog on...actually, that's a tip for life, not just Summer.

#14 - bad breath, especially that 'hungry' breath, is not a good look, Tic Tacs, Soft Mints or Airwaves are all very affordable.

#15 - fishnet anything is not gonna happen, I don't care how much Cindy Lauper told you it was ok, its not.

#16 - if you are going to Carnival, expect to be manhandled, groped, pushed, shoved, stepped on and have your personal space invaded.

#17 - you know you have ugly feet, I know you have ugly feet, so let's save my disgust and your embarrassment and how about you keep your claws in your shoes when you're on public transport?

just thought i'd share some wisdom, if you agree pass them on.

you got any tips for me, fee free to leave a comment.

Stay Up

when patience turns into anger.

2010-06-29T21:54:00.007+01:00

Nothing Remains

Most of the people who know me well may have never known me to get angry at anything, because rarely is there anything that i can say angers me, I live a calm existence, spiritually, mentally and physically, but here goes.

Tonight i realised that some people just don't give a fuck about anyone else but themselves, that the old saying "do unto others as they do unto you", is
something I shall be putting into practice with immediate effect.

Today I realised that sometimes the people who you've long suspected to be selfish, actually are. Unashamedly so. I have learned a lot from my friends, they've been with me through some great times and through some not so great times, and those are the friends i want to keep. The ones of which i speak are those who shall learn what it is like to be ignored, to be shown that the way you treat others is the way you should expect to be treated.

For the longest time, with those that I actually care about, I've stayed in touch, a call or a text just to see how my friends are doing, as all friends should do. But when the reality of it all hits you, like a speeding train, it is sometimes not what you expect.
For me right now, in this moment of clarity, I am angry yet relieved I've come to know of their behaviour sooner rather than later.

I once wrote a piece of script for a 2min film I made about myself in my first year of university, the module was called "self branding" and in this video I wrote a line that I will use now...
"when my friends turn to foes, I shall become the one whom their mother warned them about"

To those reading this, if you feel this relates to you, then it probably does.
To those reading this that feel they're being treated similarly, by me or by anyone else, treat them accordingly.

"I'd rather be hated for something i am,

than loved for something i am not"

Stay Up

Do the math?

2010-06-23T19:16:00.000+01:00

The motivation for most of my blogs comes from my own life, but sometimes other people’s lives are so much more interesting aren’t they?

This morning, on a beautiful summer morning in London, I was on my Blackberry Messenger talking to a friend of mine about her status, which just so happened to be unrelated to a little dilemma she has going on at the moment.

The dilemma I’m sure a lot of us have faced before, a dilemma with its own pros and cons, and I can kinda relate to it too in more ways than one.

My friend, who shall remain nameless, was telling me about how she met a guy in the city, and he’s everything you expect from a “city boy” he’ “arrogant, loaded, fucking gorgeous and makes me feel like Carrie Bradshaw”

Now I don’t proclaim to be the all-knowing guru when it comes to women, I know my fair share, but what I do know is that all women want to feel like Carrie Bradshaw, right?

Her dilemma begins here because the possibility of getting back together with her ex-boyfriend of 5 years is also on the cards. Her ex-boyfriend who she says is “the guy who knows me better than I know myself” “very safe” and “makes me feel more like Charlotte in SATC”

So here’s the situation she’s in, she’s currently giving the city boy a trial run, see where things go, who knows? But at the same time, there is the lingering possibility of her reigniting something she shared with another person for 5 years of her life.

This is where I got the impetus for this post, the familiar Vs the unknown.

Do you take the well beaten path, the one you know every curve and pebble on, the path which you walked everyday, back and forth for 5 years of your life, blissfully unaware that one day it would end?

Or, do you choose to walk a new path, the road less travelled by many, the road that has surprises in store for you that you might never know unless you take a chance, because we’re all afraid of change sometimes.

I’m a little biased here, I must confess, I am a cheerleader for the unknown, so keep that in mind.

I think, that when it comes to new opportunity, it should always be considered, even though old circumstance still looms. To feel safe and secure is a wonderful thing, it always is, but we all know of pivotal points in our life where we can look back on them and know that THAT was the moment I decided to change my life, that was the moment I decided to truly experience what life is about, finding new ways of living, new ways of expanding your love, your life, your mind.

So what would you do?

I wanna leave you with one of my favourite quotes, I think it applies here:

“if people aren’t multiplying you, they’re dividing you, if they’re not adding to you, they’re subtracting from you – do the math”

Stay Up

One night in Brussels

2010-06-16T22:30:00.000+01:00

so today I'm at work, normal day, I'm a little tired, but it's going alright because there are loads of things to do.

we had one of our maintenance guys come in, who I've never met before, lets call him Pete.

So Pete and i start talking and he's asking me what I studied at university, turns out he used to work for very big ad agencies in London as a copper print/press engineer, for those that don't know, that's how they "photoshopped" ads before computers.

Anyway, Pete starts telling us his life story about how he went to the army and what a great experience it was for him, the man is so intelligent it was almost scary.

But what struck me most was how he left the army after 3 years.

One night him and some colleagues went out in Brussels because that's where they were stationed, he didn't mention the town/city. So he says him and his mates were having a regular lads night out and they met some girls in the bar they were in, but Pete was interested in the waitress, so as the night goes on, he's speaking to her more and more, and after her shift, they all go out clubbing.

2 days after a long weekend just him and her, they're all at the port saying goodbye, when she asks Pete to stay another day, he agrees and tells his commanding officer he's staying another day and will be back the following day...this next part is where i got the motivation for this post.

Pete then tells us, he didn't go back the next day, in fact he didn't go back to the army, 12years later he was married with 2 kids and living in Belgium.

Now if you don't know, it's illegal to leave the army before your tour is over, and also before your 4 years minimum mandatory service is up.

Pete received a court martial when he got caught trying to renew his passport, he got fined £1800 and stripped of his rank and medals he received in the army. Funny thing is, Pete said he wouldn't change anything he did for the world.

Now that's where i thought, "that is how i'm gonna be, "no regrets", because sometimes, you just know that what lies before you, is far more important than what lies ahead of you, and you have to seize the day, as they say.

I think there's a lesson there, that from this short 10minute story that had our whole office captivated (you had to be there) there is always something worth sacrificing the life you live for, I'm not saying it has to be a man or woman, but just something you know deep down, is everything you've always wanted, it might even be right in front of you right now, grab it with both hands, because there is no time like the present.

Pete had so much to tell us and share with us, that we barely even noticed he'd been talking to us for a good hour and a half, all of the guys in my office are under 27, and after he left, all of us took different things away from his stories, but the one thing we all had for Pete was admiration.

which leads me to my status i had on my facebook first thing this morning,

"After i'm dead I'd rather have people ask

why I have no monument than why I have one."

i think that right there, was meant for people like Pete...a man whom if i never see again, i will always ask why he has no monument.

Pete, a salute from Idontliketea.

Stay Up.

back on the blog

2010-05-24T23:34:00.002+01:00

cheers to me, i made it through uni

hey people, long time no blog, been a while since i've been on here, mainly dues to the stresses of 3rd year uni.

Since my last post, i've completed my university education and can finally get round to seeiing all those people that i've neglected over the last couple of months or so, i promise to see everyone soon.

I gotta tell you, finishing uni and knowing that now i can do whatever i want with my life really, travel the world, sail the 7 seas, maybe even just get to doing all the sides of a rubik's cube, who knows?

This transitionary period has left me with a lot of time to sit and take a long hard look at my life and where it is, where it's been and where it will go, the "is" and "been" parts of my life, i can say i pretty much know what was and what is, so that's all good.

It's just this irritating "going" stage thats been bugging me of late. Right now i'm like one of those flame juggling circus acts, with all the flame handles in the air, not knowing which one is gonna come down first, which one i'll catch, which one will hit the ground and which one will burn my hand.

so i've been looking to those around me for guidance, for advice, books, movies, music, and the one recurring answer i keep finding is that, no-one knows, so i guess we'll just have to wait and see, obviously i'll blog about it, so you'll be in the loop, have no fear.

Okay, so in the last month and a half since my last post, a lot has changed, funny how things can change in a seemingly short period of time huh?

i've started writing poetry, some of which i one day wish to perform live in front of real people, and not just my mirror, or over the phone at 3am to crackheads alike.

i designed a tattoo for one of my oldest friends first born child, Brooklyn is baby boys name, i haven't seen him yet, but trusty facebook leads me to believe he is a bundle of love created by two great people whom i have much love and respect for, Congrats Lee and Sam.

i've been enjoying my smiles & cries, and i've been smiling more that i was a few months ago, not to mention the world cup is 3 weeks away, fingers crossed for the 3 lions.

Man, so much to enjoy and so much to learn from, so much to yearn for, so much burn for...
new blogs coming soon, will post up a poem or two in due course, but for now, as always...

Stay Up

Smiles & Cries

2010-04-04T19:08:00.005+01:00

The life and times of Idontliketea are that which everyone goes through, but there is always a little twist in my stories that when i tell people, i can just tell they're saying in their head "wow, better you than me"

i'm about 7 weeks from graduating from university, and alot is going on in my personal life, that at the beginning of the year i told myself i wouldn't get involved in and i would just focus on me.

But, the unknown is a wonderous thing, the unknown brings joy and pain, smiles and cries. We all go about our business, everyday, we have a plan, we have a schedule, we know what we will do today, that's OUR plan, the world has a whole different plan for us. How many times have you gotten home from your day at work, uni, wherever and just said "what a day" and said it only because things didn't go to plan?

Remember the movie Training Day, Ethan Hawkes character, officer Hoyt had no clue that his training day would end up the way it did, he anticipated his first day of training to become a detective.

Now, this is the joy of the unknown, sometimes we will meet people and go to places we never had the intention of meeting or seeing, and these are the moments of revelation to us.

These are the little points in life that will divert our paths far beyond what we ever had planned for our paths, the only thing we can guarantee is that the ride will be memorable, it might be long, it might be very brief, either way, we're strapped in and there's no looking back, the unknown is the ride at the theme park that we didn't even see when we got there, but it's the only ride we'll remember after we leave.

I recently got to talking about the unknown, and how in love especially, there is always the element of the unknown, but for me that is the best part, that you don't know what's going to happen, that you can't predict what will come of our actions, but personally, i'm happy to be on the journey, because some of the best things that have ever happened to me, only occured because i wasn't ready for them, all i had was my smiles and cries, and with the unknown...

"You gotta control your smiles and cries,

because thats all you have,

and nobody can take that away from you"

you have no control over anything else, only your smiles and cries, and god do i love those smiles and cries.

Stay Up

you might see me smiling, but.....

2010-03-21T13:22:00.008Z

where to start is always the hardest part for me when it comes to my posts, regardless of circumstance, i've always found this the hardest bit in a lot of things i do, but once i get into it, there's no stopping me, which is kind of how my life is, how my love life is to be more exact.

You know when you meet someone and you don't really have any set agenda or intentions, you're just two people, two relative strangers even, just colliding in this life, both on your own distinct paths, that's kind of how i've become as i've grown up, just taking each person for who they are, and developing a bond, a friendship, a love, with that person.

You know how as that bond develops you start to notice those little quirks of theirs, seemingly personalised just for you, where you create something that neither of you can put your finger on, that "something" makes you wonder how you only met this person now, at this point in time, after all the drama and bullshit you've had to endure in your life, when this person has been there all along.

You know how it all comes crashing down when you realise just how much you don't want this person not in your life, so you think you'd do anything to keep them there, selfishly, even if in the smallest capacity. Because who else is gonna reply to those midnight texts, or those 3am drunken calls that make you laugh harder than you've ever laughed before. You know when you become like a piece of elastic with them, no matter how far you stretch it, it always comes back to the place it began.

You know how complicated the world is too right?, like how some things will never be as straight forward as you hope, that all the little tests in life sometimes become embodied in one person, that this complicated world is the reason you only met them now and not before.

You know when the elastic breaks, and you also just know that regardless of whichever method you choose to put it back together again, it just won't be the same, maybe you pulled too hard or not enough, maybe you knew all along that the two of you were just like the elastic, comprised of all this energy, if the elastic isn't being stretched, that energy is useless....so what do you do now, with half a piece of elastic?

see what i mean?, starting this blog i really didn't have a clue how i was going to get to where i wanted to be, but i like how this came out, just a short story on something that's happened far too often....i'm just gonna let this soak for a bit.

"there's never a right time to say goodbye"

Stay Up

you are you.

2010-03-06T13:38:00.004Z

I actually don't have a clue what I'm doing here, or what I want to write about, funny how sometimes there is simply nothing to share with the internet, but seemingly the internet is always sharing with you.

I've been feeling, for lack of better word, down, most of today, it's been a worryingly odd feeling, i gotta tell ya, i'm reaching a point here i'm gonna start eliminating things out of my life, no prior warnings are available to these things, or even people, it's just gonna happen, sorry, that's the way the cookie crumbles here at IDLT, expect the unexpected. My friend once told me, there are things you think will never happen to you in life, but when they do, you're gonna sit there and think, why me?

i think i'm starting to understand what she was talking about, over the last year or 2, a lot of repetitive things have been happening to me, the same shit, over and over again, the outcome, always the same, i see it, i know it's gonna happen, do i stop it, nope, i actively seek a different outcome..and then, it hits me, the thing i almost live my life by, "people will do what THEY want to, not what YOU want them to"..and so, i've become a victim of my own ignorance, sitting here in my bed, writing this, a moment of clarity has hit me, assisted by Boyz ii Men - doin just fine and i've realised, this too shall pass...and i will be fine, and get along very well, without you in my life.

so here it is, another IDLT moment of clarity, a time when reflection, and once more, my writing, has helped me understand, identify and rectify, some of my negative introvert tendencies .

there are a lot of things i am thankful for, my writing is one of them, the other is the ability to extract the irrelevant, unnecessary bullshit we all have.

do what you have to do, for you, because today you are you, this is truer than true, ther is no-one alive that is youer than you.

forget about what people who really can't affect your life directly think, forget about what they want you to do, do what YOU want to, be healthy doing it, be smart, be safe, remember that there is a consequence to your actions, to your words, but live in pride that you can take those consequences on the chin and keep moving, live in the pride, that when you have your kids, you can tell them you did the damn thing, you gave it your all, with everything and everyone that ever meant a little bit of something to you...

"so even though it gets heavy, the load we will carry, grin and bear it, win it and then share it"

Stay Up

tastes like feet

2010-02-17T11:28:00.004Z

So last night i ended up at this Spoken Word event at Jazmines uni, was a last minute type thing, but you know how they say you have the best time when your plans are impromptu, yea, this was one of those times.

It's funny coz the Man Utd v AC Milan game was on too, and inbetween eating some delicious carribean food and Jazmine politely asking people to "please move" there were moments of perusal where i found myself just observing the different types of people there, needless to say, the spectrum was varied.

So after the match, we moved our chairs to go and watch the people do their thing.

Now if you've never been to a spoken word night, it's simply people coming up and performing some form of verbal art, whether poetry, story telling or singing, it's all there for your consumption.

I sat there listening to different performers, the first guy, he bombed, i mean, he REALLY killed, and then, to top it off, he started insulting the audience after he performed, very nice...fool.

But after him and his "song" it picked up significantly, most of the performers touched on love, and what it means to them, and hearing them express it verbally was something that i was enamoured with.

Their absolute and unequivocal way in which they all performed was inspiring to me, as someone who appreciates the power of words, i admire all the thought and dedication they put into each sentence. A great night overall.

but the absolute highlight of it all was the journey home, J and myself have a mutual love for Friends, the tv show, and she brought up a favourite scene of hers, "tastes like feet" and we stepped onto the train rolling with laughter, i'm sure people were staring.

Anyway, this reminded me of the spoken word performers and how their way with words and the way Ross delivers his line have a relation to one another, they both evoke an emotional reaction, whether reflection from one or laughter from the other, it's this power that words has that i can't explain, it's the classic line of "it's not what you say, it's how you say it"

I think i'm gonna give the spoken word thing a try, see where it takes me, that's just one more thing to add to my bucket list.

“Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning.”

- Maya Angelou

Stay Up

it is what it is

2010-02-15T15:30:00.008Z

Another trip on public transport and another moment of inspiration for the blog.

Sitting here, just looking out the window, eyes red from fatigue, T.I. Telling me to no forget about him, and the greatest copywriting book sitting in my bag, and it hit me, Sunday evening around this time, just after 8pm is the most peaceful time of the week, for me anyway.

If you manage to read this on a Sunday evening, then you're probably there in your pj's or just had a shower, got all your clothes ironed and packed, ready for the unexpected that the week ahead will bring, or you're just there lounging watching tv, either way, hopefuly you're at peace.

That ubiquitous type of peace, when nothing said or done can take you outta your zone. I get like this mostly on Sundays, which coincidentally is the day I seem to write my material for IDLT, maybe its they key to practice my writing, to get better at what I do, whatever it is, I wanna share it with you.

Got me thinking about how little time i've had recently to just sit and be at one, just chilling on my own, no interruptions, just enjoying my own company, you knw what i mean, just me, myself and I.

I once read that there are four enemies of peace that live within us all, avarice, envy, anger, and pride.  If those enemies were to be defeated, destroyed or even banished, we should infallibly enjoy perpetual peace. I'm trying to just get to where it is i wanna get to by the time i leave university, battling the four enemies daily, suffice to say, my Sunday peace makes me realise that i'm making giant leaps in defeating my enemies, and when you're in your moment of peace, just remember that you too are conquering that which aims to hold you down.

Stay Up

Saints Stay Up

2010-02-08T20:20:00.004Z

Sitting here on my tube to Brixton, been a long day at work, mainly coz I'm tired as shit from staying up to watch the Superbowl. WHO DAT SAY THEY GON BEAT THEM SAINTS!! It dawned on me what I've thought for a long time was proven to me in the early hours of this morning.

The New Orleans Saints were a team that went from providing a shelter for Katrina victims, their own Superdome Stadium, a team with no home stadium seemingly at the bottom of the pile of the NFL pecking order,to a team who in '06 drafted Reggue Bush out of the USC and things started looking up.

Fast forward a few years later, a whole lot of player trading and a new head coach, and what you have are first time SB participants and eventual first time SB winners.

So what do they have to do with the thing I've long suspected, that sports, are a microcosm for our lives, which is why I think people speak about their favourite sports team as "us" and not "them".

Sports teaches us that with absolute effort and dedication to your goal, that the right frame of mind, confidence in self and those around you will only lead to one place, success.

Some of you out there might not watch sports, but you do have someone or something you look up to, who's positive and represents what you define as success, whether spiritually or financially, they're not where they are because they got lucky, they're there because through it all, through the adversity and tests that life threw at them, they triumphed.

"Our victory last night was the culmination of four years of hard work, fighting through a lot of adversity, ups and downs and more importantly than that, representing a city that has been through so much,"

Drew Breese, Saints Quarterback

Stay Up

A LAUGH A DAY KEEPS EVERYTHING AT BAY

2010-02-07T12:45:00.003Z

told you i had a lot to say, third blog in a week, enjoying this a lot recently.

Sitting here at work, it's Sunday afternoon and i'm just here chilling to some R. Kelly, nothing much happening around here.

Was watching some stand up comedy earlier by Rhod Gilbert, you'll know him when you see him, but incase you don't YouTube him, he's awesome.

And this got me thinking about how much i value having a good laugh, and how much we should all laugh just a little bit more. I'm blessed to have friends and family who enjoy nothing better than just having a laugh, at eachother and themselves, being the topic of ridicule is something we'll all endure and remember forever. The funniest moments are those where we're the joke. Maybe that's just me, but it's always hilarious.

I can't tell you how many hours I've searched the net for the comedians, blooper reels, outtakes from movies, anything that would make me laugh, nothing is as valuable as a good stomach hurting laugh, which is why the more i think about it, humor is an absolute prerequisite for whichever girl i end up with.

I say some pretty outlandish shit sometimes, and if you've ever spent a certain amount of time with me, you'll have witnessed this, i can't really distinguish why i say such things or where they even come from, but i know they make me laugh, even if it's just me, at least i heard it.

And in my current state of mind, just being happy and laughing at life sometimes is something i'm doing more and more of. Recent events have taught me that tragedy can strike at any moment, and that sometimes people never get the flowers when they can still smell 'em, you gotta smell the flowers, harvest them and remember them, coz one day, they too shall pass.

"the most wasted of days are those without laughter"

Stay Up

("much love" is no more, decided on "Stay Up" coz i think it reminds all of us that no matter what, you gotta keep it moving, time waits for no man)

cleaning out my closet

2010-02-05T18:19:00.003Z

So as my new found clarity continues I've been rummaging through some old stuff of mine as I've moved house recently, so as with all house moves you end up asking yourself, how in the blue sam hell did I end up with so much crap?

It's funny but as I was going through the stuff I started remembering where I was when I got some of this stuff, that NFL ball, or who I was with when I got some chinese money I'll never use, weird stuff like that.

All of this nostalgia got me thinking about what "baggage" I've had laying around in my head for god knows how long, and what the hell am I still doing with it?

You know what I mean right? Those old songs you used to hate because they reminded you of an ex, or not going to certain places for fear of running into that semi-serious person you were dating, all that becomes irrelevant after a while, but you still carry it with you out of habit.

Well I'm having a mental spring clean if you will, and I'm listening to Ne-yo's "sexy love" again, and Michael Buble's "I wanna go home", because the importance I once attached to those songs is no more, I actually just enjoy them for being just a good song.

Time to make room for new trials and tribulations, and maybe in a few years time, I'll look back and have some new smiles and some new cries, which inevitably will become as important as the crap in my room.

Feeling really focussed on what it is i have to do in order to achieve my goal and complete my five year plan. Maybe it's something we can all do to gain a more positive outlook, try it, see where it takes you.

much love.

clarity.

2010-01-31T13:58:00.005Z

ok, so we're back, well, i'm back. Haven't been around for the best part of a month, inbetween getting my dissertation to a respectable standard and having other assignments with our creative team (LMC) i haven't had much, or any time, to do the blog thing.

so i'm off for a week from uni, a much needed break, and i actually thought i'd have lots to say, well, i do, but not much makes good blog material.

Anyway, was reading this book call Don't Sweat The Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, awesome book, i recommend it.

So the book talks about living life and just being happy, to not worry so much about dissatisfaction and anger, and to just embrace what's good in your life. Offering different meditation methods along the way.

The title of the book is something i've said for years to people, i don't even know where or why i started saying it actually, but i liked it, didn't even really understand it to be honest.

the book got me thinking about some small stuff i always have. I always have coins in my pocket, and not just like 20p or 50p or whatever, i mean like £10, in coins, God knows how i gather all these coins, but they're pretty heavy sometimes, sometimes i actually worry about spending the coins, just so i don't have to have them in my pocket, buying things i don't need, mostly food really, but that's another story.

why am i talking about spending coins? coz sometimes, the little things in our life are the things we should care just a little bit less about. Something i've been trying to do of late, just letting go of the things that i have either no control over, or aren't really of importance when i think about it.

We all have bigger fish to fry in the grand scheme of things, right now, my fish is university, so i'm focussed on that, getting my degree, getting a job after that and just generally start living for me.

Along the way, i'll dissapoint some people, because i'm not sweating over their small stuff with them, and i'm ok with that, i wouldn't expect them to worry over my small stuff, like my coins.

Just try it for a while, see where it takes you, for me, i've been transported to a place of clarity, where it's all starting to break down and make a lot more sense, my moment of clarity if you will.

"May the best of your todays be the worst of your tomorrows"

feels good to be back on the blog.

much love.

(more blogs coming soon, i actually do have alot i wanna say)

live life proceed progress.

2010-01-12T13:26:00.003Z

Today while on the train to Uni for the first time in 2010, as i sat there eating my Soho Club bagel from Bagel Factory, it hit me, this journey has become so mundane and habitual that i no longer look forward to coming to university. Is it the journey, is it that I've been in education for so long that i no longer feel motivated by it, is it my impatience to get going onto the next stage in my life and start building a career?

You know, back when I first started coming to uni, 3 years ago, all seemed new and important, all seemed exciting and i anticipated everyday to be a new discovery. I think as the time has passed by and people have come and gone, the one constant has always been the dreary campus i frequent now, rather than live at, as i did in my first 2 years.

The people here too, something has changed, we've all changed, for the better i believe. But as i now sit here in the library, taking a break from writing my dissertation with Kanye cheering me on, i'm forced to think about whether this is all worth it. I've always been someone who has to change with the times, to adapt to the maze when the cheese is moved.

Lately i've been thinking about who has moved my cheese and why they moved it. Right now i have no idea, i just know everything around me is becoming stale, and a lot of people i know seem to have not noticed that things around us have changed, for better and for worse, but i'm aware of this and i've gotta keep it moving, the cheese has now been taken away from me, i'll find it again, so off i go, on my travels once more, in search of that next thing, that next high, a high provided only by life.

I blogged once about habits and repetition, and how i refused to become one of the drones, seems like i need to take my own advice on this one. As the Jay-Z song goes, it's on to the next one, whatever it may be, if you're not rolling with me, you will be rolled over.

"i am suffocated and lost when i have not the bright feeling of progression"
Margaret Fuller

much love

to be or not to be

2010-01-02T16:59:00.005Z

"that is the question, whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them?"

ok let's rewind. Today i was texting a friend of mine and asked her about maybe some inspiration for a topic for the blog, and within seconds, i got a reply, the topic she recommended was "should or shouldn't" and about having something you want right in front of you, but seemingly unable to have this thing, whatever it may be.

This got me thinking about when i was 17 and read Hamelt for the first time, and his soliloquy in Act3 Scene1 and how he ponders over his suicide. Now obviously i'm not talking about suicide here, but what i am talking about is the power we have to do certain things, but then almost ironically, through conscience, we take that power away from ourselves.

It's like this, we've all had those moments when we're faced with something that we're enamoured with, that we're seemingly suffocated by, the thought of you and that person or thing fills you with excitement, anxiously waiting, anticipating the outcome....but then, conscience strikes and all those external factors come tumbling down, a scenario looms, seemingly awash with complication and confusion, what do you do??

"Thus conscience does make cowards of us all"

I think that we tend to make things a lot more complicated than they should be, through fear of judgement by others, through lack of self belief, through self torture, whatever, it all boils down to the same thing, are we willing to make the decision we want, for us?

To understand that in life you have to be at least a little selfish for your own hapiness, that the faith we have in our friends and family is the same faith we wish for them to have in us, to appreciate and accept that all of us, at the end of the day, just want to be happy.

Life is all about choices, and sometimes the easiest ones are in their own right, the hardest one's too...in a way i'm glad nothing is ever black and white, coz that'd make life boring, and no-one likes boring, Shakespeare knew that a 110years ago when he wrote Hamlet, i'm only learning the true meaning 6years after reading it.

"if you don't ask, you don't get"

Mahatma Ghandi

much love

here's looking at you kid

2009-12-31T09:52:00.000Z

So yesterday I was sitting at work and watching Casablanca, if you’ve never seen it I suggest you do, great movie.

And there’s a scene in it where Humphrey Bogart’s character Rick Blaine says
"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world... she walks into mine."

What a great line, the sense of the unknown brought to life from those simple words, hindsight is a great thing right? A

This got me thinking about 2010 and the year to come, and how the last 9 years of this decade have changed so dramatically, in my life rather than the world, coz I don’t think I could summarize how much our world has changed in this short blog.

I think for me I’ve come a very, very long way, not just in age, but as an individual too. Just look back and think about who you were 10years ago, and then think about who you are now. But don’t even try thinking about who you will be in 10years time, no-one can predict that.
Like seasons, people change, like plants, we grow, this metamorphosis of life is something that lately I’ve been thinking about more and more, and also got me realizing that one day 10years from now, I too could be saying those words about the woman I’m with, or the woman I’m married too, who knows, only God knows, and I trust in that.

As I write this, on my blackberry, (wow haven’t phones come a long way?) there are about 12.5 half hours left in 2009, and I get this urge to want to thank everyone who I’ve met this year who’s significantly impacted my life, positively and negatively, or even both, but I know that’s impossible, as some of those people talk too much (you know who you are) and I’ll never get round to thanking everyone, so here is my short list of things I’m grateful for, without having to name names.

that i've had another year to try and earn my wings, getting there slowly.
for heartbreak
for the summer of 09
for this blog, wish i'd started it sooner
for Barcelona
that i've learned that you can't change anything, everything will happen the way it's meant to.
for Karma, Brian knows what i mean
for my family, always there to keep me grounded, to pat me on the back or kick me in the backside when i most needed it.
for you, for even reading this blog.

2010 is looking good people, be grateful for what has passed, but don't let it dictate what's to come.

here's looking at you kid.

for the last time in 09, Much Love.

unexpectedly grateful

2009-12-12T19:30:00.007Z

you know when you meet new people, you already have a set prediction/judgement of what they will or won't be like.
Funny, but recently i got to know someone whom i had been introduced to months ago, but only got to actually know who they were in the last week and a bit.
Suffice to say, the person they are is a whole lot like the person i am, reason i say this is that we have a lot of the same feelings with regards to our futures, which in itself is a bit weird coz we're two seperate individuals, but a pretty intriguing person they turned out to be, and i'm glad i'm getting this chance to know them now, better late than never i reckon.

Anyway, after speaking to this person about something i've always wanted to do, motivational speaking to young people around 13-18 years old, we realised that not many, if any people want to take time out and actually help people.

The older i've become, the more i feel a responsibility to teach those younger than me that life will test you at every turn, that no matter what you're going through, nothing is permanent, everything is temporary. To try and teach them from my mistakes, but to go out there and make their own mistakes too, coz there's no better teacher than experience.

I have a younger sister, who will be 18 in February, and the older we both get, the more i think we've become accustom to each other and our litte quirks. We used to fight all the time as kids, and i never really got why we'd fight so much.

Looking back, i think i'm coming to the realisation that we fought because we're more similar than either of us would like to admit and if that's true, and if i am anything to go by, then i'll try my utmost to make sure she doesn't have to go through some of the shit i have. The bond we share is unlike that of me and my older sister, it is a much more love/hate relationship, more love than hate in recent times, which i'm appreciative of as i get older, because i am my sisters' keeper

my next blog will touch on that, my obligation, my duty, my life's purpose as a brother to my younger sister

So the next time you meet someone new, or you know someone who you think, "i'd love to get to know them"..go for it, coz who knows, lightning might strike and you might be sat there like me, listening to Alicia Keys songs musing over your role in the life of others.

"If you do not the expect the unexpected you will not find it, for it is not to be reached by search or trail." : Heraclitus

much love

commenting

2009-12-07T07:54:00.004Z

hey people

had a few complaints that visitors can't comment..

if you click on the blog title..ie "the greatest myth" then you can comment on the page at the bottom.

or if there aren't any comments click "O COMMENTS" at the bottom of the blog post and be the first. :o)

much love

the greatest myth

2009-12-02T19:10:00.000Z

Recently i was on facebook, and came across a friend Alison's status that provided me with the inspiration for this blog. The status read:

"would like the ladies to know you are neither "too much" or "not enough" , but fine just the way you are.. Don't believe the hype!"

And this got me thinking about the women i have met, whether it was my first kiss or my most recent, well, you know....I've had my perceptions of them, and me being me, i've expressed my opinions to them, without ever really thinking about how it would affect them, and the way they'd perceive themselves after that.

I feel that women today, especially those my age, are in a state of limbo with us guys.

Let me explain, as the status says, you are neither too much or not enough, us guys tend to forget that not everyone is perfect and that the little flaws that our prospective partner possesses are what make her.

These are the fibers of her character, that we should have and hold, appreciate and accentuate every time we see her, because believe me, when it all comes crashing down, it's these little idiosyncrasies that we will miss, that we will tell our friends about, if you've ever been in love and things didn't work out for whatever reason, tell me you've never said this "oh man, i used to love the way she'd burp like a trooper" or whatever weird little thing she did that you loved.

This is my point, girls need not seek approval from us, they need not have to be made to feel that who they are is inferior to who we are. We are men, God knows we have enough pitfalls of our own, so why knock her for what she is, for what you walked across a crowded room for, for what one day, hopefully, you'll get to tell people that these are the exact reasons you fell in love with her.

i know me writing this is kind of a contradiction, as my track record with women isn't the most comfortable for some, but no-one's perfect, i'm not perfect, but i'm working on it, at a point in my life i subscribed to the playa lifestyle, fortunately for me i've learned my lesson, unfortunately for some of the guys i know, they haven't, they still live in never never land, where nobody wants to grow old, where nobody realises that at some point, it's not always about them.

For any women reading this who feel that they're not understood by their boyfriend/partner/hook up, whatever, just remember that it's ok if you are not is tune with every other girl out there, that you hear your own drummer, that you should step to your own beat, no matter how measured or far away....for you are enough, just the way you are..you are not too much or not enough, you're everything we want, you're everything we need, you're evrything inside we wish that we could be.

songs for you truths for me

Vertical Horizon - Everything you want

Lyfe Jennings - Never Never Land

much love

life's subscriptions

2009-11-17T19:56:00.000Z

normally i find it a bit of achallenge to find inspiration for this blog, hence why my life is my inspiration for it, yesterday something happened that sparked the idea fr this blog.

Yesterday I was witness to some, for lack of better word, bullshit.

And as always, what happens in my life got me thinking about things..certain things, and the effect our beliefs have on us, whether religiously, morally, socially and to a more recent degree, economically.

Here's the thing, the thing I witnessed is someone sacrificing something important in their life because they "believe" what they're doing is the right thing and that they're better off without someone else in their life.

In terms of how they went about it, let's just say there are more direct ways of dealing with things.


The issue I take with this is thus, what we subscribe to, we eventually succumb to. Whether the outcome has a positive or negativre effect on us, only time will tell, ok let me give you some examples:

MLK, he subscribed to equality for black people, for minorities, that one day America could come together as one, unsegregated nation, he was assasinated for what he was fighting for, what you subscribe to, you succumb to.

Jade Goody, a true product of the reality show celebrity, a fiend of fame, someone who, in my opinion, payed the ultimate price for her want of being famous. Ok fine, cancer isn't her fault, but the debacle that lead to her death and funeral was such a farce, if she didn't crave fame and fortune, would her death be any more significant than your neighbour with cancer? What you subscribe to, you succumb to.

A more recent, globally recognised problem is the collapse of our economies, greed and ambition changed our world and our lives immeasurably, the belief in the investment banking system, the belief that people could pay back what they owed, the belief that everyone with a loan or mortgage would stay true to their word, and suffice to say, that didn't happen did it, this trust in the "system" lead to our downfall on a global scale. what you subscribe to, you succumb to.


Those are three extremely different axamples, but all apply to what I witnessed, if in life you don't at least have an open mind about certain things, and certain people, eventually you will fall prey to that or them, I'm not saying don't trust anything, I'm saying don't be so blind to the obvious truths about them simply because what governs you says different, what governs you does not control you, it simply sets the rules, and rules are made to be broken

"what you subscribe to, you eventually succumb to"

much love.

what of silence?

2009-11-16T09:08:00.000Z

i was at a friends birthday party recently, a house party, and like all house parties, you end up in one of two places, dancing in the living room or in a group discussion in the kitchen or hallway.

I found myself doin the latter, not in the dancing mood that day, mainly because of external personal factors, i opted for the hallway discussion.

Standing there, talking to some good people, we meandered into various topics, ultimately the topic ended up being on love and the loss of it etc etc.

I found myself just standing there, listening to the alternate views people have on certain things, i also found myself realising that i'm a quite an introvert.

I know i'm a very opinionated person, i know i have strong views on certain topics, but i also know that sometimes saying nothing is better than just saying anything.

Anyway, i was reminded again this past weekend about my relationship with words and the nature in which i speak or write. This fueled the idea for this blog, i reflected on that house party and just thought about how it is i am able to come out with the things i say and the things i write, I beleieve my silence is my way of filtering out all the superfluous babble that we all at one time or another spout.

My way with words is something that i get from you, the people i speak to, that this gift God has given me is aided by you, the ability to speak when necessary, i think, is something i'm blessed with. I'm reading a book about Mother Theresa at the moment, and there's an extract from it i wanna share with you, hopefully you'll understand why "Peace cannot be found in noise and restlessness. Peace is the friend of silence. See how nature grows in silence, see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls."

That last bit is what i take from that, "we need silence to be able to touch souls", i find joy in m silence, and hopefully with some luck, with some hard work and with some silence, i'll be able to do just that through my work, through my words, through copywriting....indeed silence is golden

much love

different together

2009-11-09T15:13:00.000Z

things have changed rapidly in my life in the last few months/weeks the highs and the lows, everything seeming like it was custom made to either anger me, frustrate me or please me, and i rolled with the punches and enjoyed and am still enjoying them.

but you know how they say the only way to truly see things for what they are is to see it in the 3rd person, i've been trying that lately, to remove myself from things and then look at them from someone elses POV, we were taught last year to think outside of the box when faced with a brief, to look at something for what it is, in it's basic form, and then to step away from it and look at the brief in two other ways, for what it could mean, the subliminal and metaphorical, and then to see something for what it is not, and try and relate what it isn't to the brief...to see the honesty in things.

how does that relate to what i'm talking about, well here's the thing, when faced with new challenges, sometimes we don't know how to deal with them, because we think there is no other way of dealing with the problem than to deal with it in the same way we have before, that's the way we as humans do things, habitually, but for a second, just think about what it is that you're not doing, try and envisage an alternative way to facing life's little tests.

I've been trying this lately, and instead of reacting in my usual impatient and hasty way, i've been trying to look at things in a different light, to perceive them differently, and suffice to say, i think i've handled things a lot better than i wold have in the past, whether these problems have been at work, at uni or in my personal life, some things just need to be treated differently in order for a better result to occur.

Dave Trott came down to our uni last week for a seminar, and i valued everything he said, took in the things that appealed to me and took in the things that didn't, because who knows, one day they might.

The one thing i did take on board was "be different, not better"...and that's what i'm trying to say in this blog, just try and be different in your approach, not better, coz if we don't at least try different things, we're stagnant, and boring and the same as everyone else with their shallow perception of life, of themselves, of you.

think different, be different, it's what keeps you grounded, i read today that "what belongs together is now growing together", thinking about that too, people who are different naturally gravitate to eachother and forge bonds that will last longer than expected, i'd like to remix that quote and say that "what's different together, lasts forever"....funny thing perception.

much love.

Real Men Don't Eat Quiche...

2009-10-23T13:31:00.000+01:00

I spoke to Brian the other day and while discussing life and his plans to become PM and my appointment as Home Secretary (it could happen), we digressed on to things that grind our gears, stuff that really makes my piss boil, and I realised that there is a lifestyle, that men have been parading around and perpetuating for about a decade now, Metrosexuality.

Now i'm all for living your life the way you see fit, so this is simply my opinion and if you're offended by that, then you can always click that little X at the top of your window and leave the blogosphere. Actually, don't leave, stay, read on, challenge my notions, let's talk about this.

A little while ago, i had my legs waxed, that's right, WAXED, like a woman has hers waxed, it hurt to a degree, but it wasn't as bad as people (women) were making it out to be, it was aa money raising thing, not a vanity thing. How does this relate to my blog today, well, since you asked, after said waxing i was advised that i needed to moisturise and exfoliate my legs as to prevent in-growing hairs...fuck that, i'm a man, there is no way on God's green earth am I exfoliating anything, i'll put lotion on my legs to keep them from looking like i just kicked a bag of flour, but that's pretty much it.

You see my daily routine is thus, shower, no fancy shower gels or anything like that, just regular soap and water, get out of the shower, air dry, brush teeth, lotion body, nothing fancy, dove lotion if you must know, which i use for my face too, pick clothes, boxers, tank top, jeans, t-shirt, trainers, jacket, brush hair, deodorant, cologne and i'm good, all done in 20mins max...to me that's more than enough time to look decent enough to leave my house feeling good

But what the hell have men adopted these days, a "grooming regime" as i heard the other day.

All these fancy facial scrubs and face creams, and exfoliating gloves, having a back, sack and crack for Pete's sake, who does that? There is only one instance where i feel men are allowed to don make-up, if you are famous and on television, other than that, you have no business going in to Mac and asking the assistant which foundation to use coz your current one is blocking your pores.

Men going into taning salons and having their hair cut at Toni&Guy, no no no, my good people, go to a barber, £7, not this £40 for a cut and dry malarky, and don't even get me started on skinny jeans, men walking around with half their arse hanging out, damn it i can see your balls through those jeans, get some proper fitted jeans man, put down the man-bag, what do you need that for, you have a wallet and pockets, ..which man in their right mind thinks it's ok to have hand cream available, with their anti-septic gel and all other types of ungodly things on them at all times...?

But you know what, it's also our fault, not just the media, we allow this as a society, we're trying so hard to be politically correct that no-one wants to pipe up and denounce this behaviour, well the time has come.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears, let us band together and save the man, save what is left of us, those of us that like to talk loud, swear, spit, drink beer and grow facial hair, beep at the beautiful woman in the Baby Phat denims, spend our Saturday and Sunday afternoons watching football, playing Sunday league and coming home battered and bruised and being proud of our battle scars on Monday morning, not hide them with foundation. Brag about our sexual conquests to our friends, take one for the team, pull the ugly fat friend, no-one cares, so i say to you, real men of the World, with one hand grabbing my balls and one on my beer, join me in reviving the Indigenous men of planet Earth.

rant over.

much love.

luvanmusic

2009-10-19T14:14:00.000+01:00

I realised the other day that i've been neglecting idontliketea a bit, mainly coz of the pile of work i have to do at uni, not including doing my dissertation, while juggling my part-time job and playing football in my attempt to get fit and healthy again.

whats been happening, i've recently got my first ever Blackberry, yes i know, bandwagon etc etc. But anyway, i gotta say, i love this damn thing, i'm actually writing this blog from my blackberry, or crackberry as a good friend of mine so eloquently put it..

So like on every phone there are your usual pre-loaded ringtones and videos courtesy of your phone manufacturer, funnily, on the blackberry some of these are John Mayer samples, kudos to Columbia and Sony for the genius bit of marketing and PR.

Coincidentally though, my friend Lauren has recently become, a bit....uhm...for lack of better word, besotted with the talented Mr Mayer, she freakin' loves him, and i mean LOVES him, almost as much as her lecturer for contextual studies, lol (sorry)

All of her love/obsession for Mayer got me wondering about music and what it means to people, what it means to me and the profound impact it has on us as a society

Music for me is everything, i spend hours upon hours listening to my iPod or trawling the internet just searching for my next fix of new music, a new song, a new artist, a new genre, anything for me to downloa....uhm, buy, i mean buy, all in the name of my love for music.

It's weird that billions of people can enjoy the same music, crossing cultural and ethnic barriers, music brings people together uinlike anything else i've witnessed, music can have a woman in Japan, singing word for word every lyric of Blur's "song 2" and not have a damn clue what she's saying, she just knows that when she hears that song, nothing else in the world matters, the excitement of hearing the melody, the beat, the excitement she gets cannot be topped, and yet, she shares this feeling with billions of other people, some who'll even chastise her for listening to Blur, but when they put on their Manson or Jay-Z they exude that exact same feeling.

And then what about what it makes you think, and what it makes you do, have you ever stood back and just thought about how obscure the act of dancing is, if you take the music away and just watch people, you'd think they were on something, well, most of them are, but that's not the point.

The point is that to me, music is what feelings would sound like, it's an expression of the soul, for people globally to some together and be as one, think about it, we all have our own particular sorrows, loves and delights. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their enitery.

i have something i want you to try next time you listen to your favourite song, don't listen to the lyrics, just think about how it makes you feel....now try putting that feeling into words....comment on this blog if you succeed...coz i didn't.

"There is no truer truth obtainable by Man than comes of music"

~Robert Browning

much love

Barcelona is definitely maybe.(whatever that means)

2009-09-29T12:07:00.000+01:00

So i went to Barcelona about 2 weeks ago now and i gotta say, the city itself is an architectural marvel. The Gaudi buildings scattered arounf the city have to be seen to be believed, and La Sagrada Familia is possibly one of the most inspiring places i've ever been to.

It's kinda expensive over there, £7 for a pint if you must know. I went with my classmates, so it was unlike any other holiday i've been on, shenanigans were had, sun was soaked and the food, oh god the food, the sea food was amazing, the paella was beyond description..but funnily enough, the best meal i had over there was ribs and chips, which is odd i know, but i think it's more of an english/western thing, to go somewhere foreign and eat food that you can get back home. funny that.

When I got back from Barca, there wasn't much time to rest as we were back at uni just a few days later. 3rd year has just begun and the work is really beginning to pile on, plus the added joy of my dissertation due in January, our degree show and raising money for it (i'm getting my legs waxed this Thursday to raise money)...is it going to hurt???

i'm really looking forward to this year, working with a new group but old friends, Lauren and Cass, and we're already making headway, letting the creative juices flow, we've got a rapor i feel will help us achieve what it is we all strive for, a 1st....and i know that the synergy of our individual talents will get us there come June 2010.

I wrote about letting things go in my last blog entry before Barcelona, and i'm glad to say i let them go, and came back feeling good about myself and about life, looking forward to new beginnings, and building on relationships i feel i need in my life, i want in my life.

It's funny coz i somehow think that maybe i didn't need the holiday to realise these things, maybe i knew them all along and was just unwilling to let things go and accept what they've become...maybe i'm just getting all philosophical again when i don't really need to...maybe we all need a holiday, maybe it's definitely maybe.

much love

i shall not be moved.

2009-09-14T21:20:00.000+01:00

over the last 4/5 months a lot of things have occured in my life that have tested me beyond measure.

I have been in situations where i was always aware of the outcomes and consequences, by day or by night, i had my own troubles to try and wash away, sometimes to little or no effect, others banished for good, into the depths of eternity.

I've been working my arse off trying to keep things together, in more ways than one.
I don't complain about it, well, i try not too, but i'm human, and i have this inate ability to verbalise myself without any regard to how people will feel about it, and that's just me, but i guess i'm loved and hated, in equal measure for the exact same reasons.
this summer has been hard, whether work or play, rain or shine, there was always something to try me, to test me, to substantiate life's many curve balls thrown my way. Some i knocked out the park, homerun's baby, all the way, over the bleachers, over the fence, into the parking lot, gone, for good...other's didn't even make it past first base.
Anyway, the culmination of all of this has lead me to today, Monday, September 14th 2009. Two days before i go away with my friends from university, to explore Barcelona, to delve deep into the cultural and popular culture of the mother of Gaudi.
I gotta confess, I have set myself a task, to go away and enjoy every second of the trip, to embrace the moments with my frinds, and create memories i can tell my kids about, to finally leave all my problems to God, that come what may, whatever He proclaims to be, will be.
I'm not leaving them in Spain, because problems know their way home, i'm just letting them go, in the air, on the plane, mid-flight, and whatever becomes of them, that too shall pass.
So here's to my first and only trip away with some of the most extraordinary people i have ever met. To friendship, To Barcelona, To London, To Farnham, To the class of 2010, To Us, To You......To Me.
see when i see you, until we meet again
much love

YOU, over there...........fuck you!!

2009-09-09T08:22:00.001+01:00

"You're in my seat"

Once again, London town does not fail to surprise. The people who dwell in this urban metropolis are the most unique, incandescent people in the world.

But, don't let that fool you, among the many visionaries live the imbiciles, the drones, the "sheople" as a good friend put it. Those that strive to live every day like yesterday, the same. Boring and predictable, living within the spheres of normality and habitual susbsitence of the mundane and melancholic.

Yes they live here, in my beautiful city, pissing me off, one at a time.

The reason for this verbal tirade i hear you ask, well, this morning on the train, an empty train i might add, i was confronted by a middle-aged, balding man, who by the looks of things is governed by the principles of convention, the poor sod.

Anyway, he comes up to me and says "you're in my seat." Now i know what you're thinking, how could I be in HIS seat, this is public transport no? Ahh, well here's the thing, not to him, he believed that because he "sits here everyday" he holds the rights to said 1ft x 1ft piece of unhygenic fixture on the 06:06 to London Victoria.

I gladly declined to move, until HE threatened ME for being aggresive. I've got a cold at the moment, and the last thing i wanted was some oxygen theif accusing me of, a) being in his seat and b) being aggresive, so i stood up, looked down at his susbsistent 5'7" frame and kindly told him, i was not going to move and he could gladly fuck the fuck off, god knows who pissed on his chips this morning, but you best believe i was not having any of his shit so early in the morning.

Which lead me to this blog today, thinking about it on the tube, i analysed people getting on and off at every stop, so engrossed in their daily routine that no-one noticed the muscle bound man wearing his girlfriends t-shirt, tight enough to stop blood flow to the medulla oblongata, the moments in life that i live for, the foolishness.

It got me thinking about how i never want to be someone stuck in routine, how i hate repetitive things, and recurrent people, who seemingly bitch and moan about life's trials & tribulations, i'm not saying they go without merit, because we all have our own problems, but we also have a way of changing things, switch it up every now and then, take the bus in to work, get off a station before and walk the rest of the way, get the ferry up the thames if you can, all i'm saying is don't get trapped in the system of habit, because like the stoutly arsehole this morning, you too, will one day be bitching to an anarchistic 22 year old that he's sitting in your seat.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome"

Albert Einstein

much love

(someone pass me a tissue)

The tram is coming!!

2009-09-01T11:04:00.000+01:00

i haven't been blogging for some time, well last week i posted up the images from Liu Bolins art, which i still love, but that's about it, and of course we have my guest blog, which i'm gratefull for, shout out to JR....but today dear Blogites, we resume or regular scheduled programming

OK so yesterday i was talking to my older sister, which is always cool coz we have this love/hate relationship, like all siblings i guess.

But the thing that makes our relationship special is probably that we are two very independent people, our souls are intertwined in the sands of time. We live outside the touch of time if you will, we can both live our own lives happily knowing the other is doing just the same, living their life, and not the life others would have us live.

Anyway, we got to talking about choices in life and how everyone has to make them, regardless of who you are and what you posess, we all make our own choices.

Sometimes we as people like to blame other people for our little mishaps in life, we like to say that if it weren't for such and such, i would have made a different choice....bullshit...we had a choice, and because we choose the easy route, 9 times out of 10, we can lay blame to those unable to speak for themselves.

I like to think the decisions i make, are simply that, a choice between left or right, up or down, the red pill or the blue pill, no regrets.

I know it's easy to sit here at my screen and preach to you that you should make YOUR decisions for YOU and not for want of whatever other self-prophecising needs you desire..but i'm not trying to do that, we all collectively are responsible for what happens in our lives, for what WE do, we can't control other people, we will never be able to do so, that's the beauty of the path, it's your and yours only.....

i guess what i'm triying to say is that you gotta do you, for you, because believe me, if you don't care enough about your own happiness, no-one else will.

My sister, as much as it kills me to say this, is the leader of the 3 siblings in my family, the voice of reason and the voice of authority, we live in that system by choice, that's the choice i have made, to take advantage of her wisdom, and to accept the role of younger brother/court gester, but that's why to us, there are no limitations to what we do and don't say to eachother, we shout, we scream, we argue, we swear, hang the phone upon eachother and are simply downright rude to one another at times, and 2 days later, i'll get a call or she'll get a text, and it's like we're kids again, watching those old Disney cartoons, and all that has happened before is obsolete...that's the life we live, that's the choice we make...

to get together like a choir to acquire what we desire.

much love

Liu Bolin

2009-08-28T11:29:00.000+01:00

not sure if anyone saw him in the paper a few weeks ago, well i did, and boredom at work lead me to research more about Liu Bolin.

who is Liu Bolin, Liu Bolin is a chinese artist with the ability to disappear, with his cloak of invisibility and oriental sourcery, he can vanish before your eyes...

or he paints himself into the background...

New Blog

2009-08-25T10:47:00.000+01:00

ok so my last blog wasn't allowing me to post new blogs in it for some reason or the other, bureaucrats etc.

And as i'm THAT bored/suicidal at work, i've decided to migrate to idontliketea2...all new and improved, well, not really, different toilet, same shit ultimately...

if you've not read my blog before, have a gander through the posts, see if anything inspires you, angers you or just reminds you of that queezy feeling you get when you pass through Ilford East London...oh shut up, you know it smells there.

it's not in chronolocgical order, as i'd have to be some kind of time machine wielding mad man to have all these things happen to me in the space of a day, so it starts form April "common sense is a commodity" up until this post.

anyway, enjoy, leave a comment if you feel the need to, i encourage all kinds of foolishness around here.

much love

Dreams vs Reality (guest blog)

2009-08-25T10:42:00.000+01:00

How should I start this off hmmm….I know, let me talking about this from my point of view. This is something I struggle with daily. In a world where C.R.E.A.M (Cash Rules Everything Around Me) it’s hard to pay the vast amount of bills that this country has accumulated, being the country with the highest amount of taxes and still have time to follow your dreams. How do go about doing so to begin with??

Most people know for certain what they want to do when they grow up before they go to university some even before they finish school….but if there are people like me in the world I only realized what I wanted to do after I went to university, graduated and got a job in said industry.

Don’t think I’ve mentioned the industry as yet (IT) for those of you that are intrigued, I’m an Application Support Technician (try saying that three times lol) after about eight months of this I realized that I can’t be doing this kind of job for the rest of life…..there is nothing worse than sitting on a crappy office chair looking at numbers & code FUCK dat shit!! (Excuse my French) so I thought to myself J.R. what do you love doing A: watching TV & Films, Q: Do you watch movies & think of shit that could have made a scene better, A: HELL YEAH!!...........and just like that my mind was made up, I always toyed with the idea of writing scripts and stuff but never had the balls to do it. Fuck it, if Quentin Tarantino used to work in a fricking video shop before he started writing why the hell can’t I do it??

But REALITY is a bitch and I hate her……as with DREAMS you have to balance it with the REAL world, and in my REAL world I have mad bills to pay not to mention a mortgage (I know right!!) I’m not gonna go into the whole reason behind why my life is not normal for a 22 year old guy but whateva. I’m a firm believer in attempting to pursue your dreams regardless of how out of reach they may seem, after all I’m sure people dreamed of colour television, which so happens to be a reality.

What’s even funnier is one of my aunties told me “you can’t get everything you want” to be honest with you the thought never entered my mind some would say it is the arrogance of being young, but I say “nothing happens unless first we dream”…. after all the “President is black” if this is not the era when dreams can become reality we might as well give up now, what if Sean Combs didn’t dream of taking over the music industry, what if Christopher Wallace didn’t pick up a mic, what if Michael Phelps didn’t decide to start swimming or Usain Bolt taken up basketball instead of Sprinting?? One can only wonder……

I shall leave you with a quote for Anais Nin (if you don’t know who it is....Google!!)
“Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.”
Envisioned byNanjiro Enzo

"A guest has not to thank the host, but the host the guest”

2009-08-25T10:41:00.000+01:00

life is all about change and growth, and here at idontliketea we're all about the latter and obsess over the former.so for the next week or two, we'll be having a few guest bloggers coming through, their views are strong, their topics varied, their views are independent and individual, like that crop circle up there, the message is open to interpretation, and that's what we love most, the idisyncrasy of them all (the blogs)so please show some love to the guests of idontliketea.

Much Love

i got love for you if you were born in the....

2009-08-25T10:40:00.000+01:00

As a kid, my sisters and I would collect disney tapes, that's right...tapes, VHS, the big clunky, rewind when finished, tapes.

We had all the Disney classics, Beauty and The Beast, Aladdin, The Jungle Book, Snow White, The Lion King, loads, but the one thing we never really appreciated, i think, is that they were a symbol of our childhood, something that helped us pass the time when nothing else was on TV.
We knew every song in Aladdin, every joke in BatB, to this day i can probably recite the whole of Aladdin, word for word.

I recently watched Aladidn again, for the first time since i was in primary school (thank you Sky+) and it brought back all those memories.

Looking back i think we all have something that will remind us of our childhood, for me, it's these movies, for me it's cartoons in general, waking up on Saturday morning at the crack of dawn to watch Voltron and Darkwing Duck, Chip & Dale (ch, ch, ch, chip and daaaale, rescue rangers)...sorry, got a bit carried away there.
ok here's a small list of my favourites, to me, timeless classics, before all of this 3D nonsense.

The Smurfs

Alvin & The Chipmunks

Garfield

Voltron

Darkwing Duck

Ducktales

Chip & Dale

Visionaries

BraveStar

Care Bears

man i could go on forever, but there's the point, no matter how old you are, or what's going on in your life, take it from me, your childhood is a reflection of what's goood in you, the days of no bills, no responsibility, no relationship issues, a time when your biggest problem was what cereal you want. Fruit LLoops if you must know.

One day, when you have the time, go on YouTube and watch some of your favourite cartoons again, even if it's just the opening credits, believe me, nothing will put you in a better mood.

much love

I'm an angry man...sometimes.

2009-08-25T10:37:00.002+01:00

hey people, of late i haven't been feeling myself so no conclusions to anything, alot of stuff just hanging in the air, so no real blog material for you unfortunately, so i thought i'd entertain you with an email rant i sent out to friends and family a few months ago.
and also, my poor attempt at writing for the London Paper, which sadly didn't get published, when you read it you'll know why...here goes.

THE RANT

"today is just a general hatred for a list of things that have come to my attention recently..
the other day i was eating a pie, and this fool walks up to me and goes "is that nice" No, you donut, i always stuff my face with food that tastes like toilet paper,,
people at bus stops who ask you "has the bus come yet" if it did come i wouldn't be fucking standing here now would i?

old people, really really old people, you know the ones i mean, the slow walkers, the confused, the ones who turn just stop in the middle of rush hour on oxford circus, the ones who think if you're under 25 you're a gun toting, knife wielding asbo, the ones who spark up conversation about the weather, and how "oh it hasn't snowed for a while" yes bitch, but the frozen ear juice you have trickling out tells me otherwise. i know they haven't got much time left, but c'mon, other people have places to go, ok fine, if they MUST come out, can we at least give them their own lane to walk in or something, coz sometimes (and i know this may sound cruel) i just wanna stab them with my best pencils, slow ass, zimmerframe walking, sandal wearing, weird shopping trolly thingy having old people.one day i shall be one too and one day i shall write/narrate to a more able person, how much i hate young people.....

Political Correctness Police,,,,you can't say black coffee, black magic, black ball, black haed, baa baa fucking black sheep, you can't oppose islam or they're gonna riot like its 1992 and rodney king just got his ass beat, you can't say nigga, its "the n word", its sexually non-preferential not bi-sexual, big boned, plus size, differently sized, i'm sorry thats just fat, you can't even say prisoner anymore, its client of the correctional system, fuck right off..
if i want my black coffee, from Ali the muslim who works at blacks books, where i read baa baa black sheep, squeezed a black head, while hollering at my nigga, whose girlfried just told him she's bi-sexual, but its ok because she's fat, and i want to point and laugh at prisoner then i damn. well. will."

LONDON PAPER ATTEMPT

"Glasto Fiasco"

"If, like me, you were watching the Oasis vs Jay-z (hip-hop) saga with interest over the last few weeks, by now you have picked a side. I, for one, have, and I’m with Brooklyn’s finest.Noel needs to get off his “I can’t believe its not 1995” horse and start to realise what he and many of his supporters are sadly contradicting themselves over and over. Glasto “is for rock ‘n roll” so I was told this week, please correct if I’m wrong, last time I checked Amy Crackhouse is NOT rock, please explain to me why she gets a free pas and Jay-z does not, please explain why the crowd nearly had a cerebral haematoma when Jay-z did “encore”, and the answer that Amy is “real music” does not suffice, if you bothered to listen top Jay-Z’s lyrics and the intellect that is behind some, not all, of his songs then you’d know what Mr Eaves and the rest of the world know, the man has talent.

Noel should take a good look at his own lyrics“Backbeat the word was on the street that the fire in your heart is out”and sit up and realise that the world of music is changing, and that it shouldn’t and doesn’t matter what kind of music someone makes, if they’re good at it, why can’t they play to a deserving audience? For the record, Galsto is not an exclusively rock 'n' roll festival, Coldplay anyone.

I sincerely hope Noel and his fans read this, because I love wonderwall, but I love Dirt off your Shoulder too, Noel, no hard feelings playa, but please understand, that no-one feels the way I feel about you now."

hope you enjoyed those, i have my angry moments, as we all do.

much love

SUPERNOVA ii

2009-08-25T10:37:00.001+01:00

You know that feeling you get when you're on a roller coaster for the first time? Or you're going too high on a swing? Or you hit some certain bumps on the road and your stomach kinda flips? That's the way I feel when I'm around you. Not all the time, but there's those times when you look at me, or you'll hold me; and I can't even explain it - but that's what I feel

SUPERNOVA

2009-08-25T10:36:00.001+01:00

not much i want to say today,
just wanna share something with you...

"Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.
You've got to find the treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense"

much love

If you try you can fly

2009-08-25T10:34:00.000+01:00

Been some time since i was here, been pre-occupied you could say, between work and sleep and socialising i haven't much time for anything else.....including the easy things in life, like writing a blog.....

been thinking a lot today about working towards things and the time and effort i'm prepared to put in.

Most of the time people, myself included, want things to be easy. But the truth of the matter is that everything cannot and should not be done with ease.

We live in a world where no one wants to wait for anything, a true fast food society. It is my belief that true satisfaction is the product of effort and time.

I often think that my true purpose in this life was to receive a lesson in patience.
Over last six years I have endured many life lessons. I have been blessed to start over, it's a blessing because second chances often give you new perspective, although starting over is never easy. I have learned time and time again that no matter what I do, I must be willing to pay the price to move beyond where I am and what I am comfortable in doing.

Because I remember a time prior to microwave ovens I know that there is value in waiting.
My grandmother does not have a microwave oven and cooks everything the old fashion way - heating it up in the oven or the stove. My grandmother is a woman who believes that love is shown in what you do for someone and not what they do for you. Her cooking is always done in a loving manner and it always takes time to prepare. I love eating her home cooked meals because they are much better than anything I would get from popping a container in the microwave and calling it dinner. But when I go to my grandmothers to eat, I am always prepared to wait a little longer as she cooks the meal the old fashion way.

Much like my grandmother's home cooked meals, the desire to have those things that bring value in life requires time, and time is something that many people in today's society view as a prehistoric animal that no longer exists.

Ironically, most of us waste time, disregard it, and lose it everyday and yet time is the one thing that we can't recreate no matter what we do. My english teacher siad something to me when i was 15 years old, something i have always carried with me, and will continue to do so, "There is only one place where success appears before work and that is in the dictionary," and I, like so many others I know, tend to forget that.

I want to get there, wherever there is, and I want to get there today. But I must endure the difficult and tedious moments that come prior to experiencing the bliss and excitement just before I receive the reward.

No, I don't expect that every moment will be easy, but every moment does not have to be difficult either. As long as I keep focused on what I desire to accomplish and work toward my goal, I know there is nothing that I cannot do.

Although, we live in a microwave society where things are packaged together with easy for quick processing we must be mindful that our goals cannot be acquired by pressing a button. Achievement is a process and most of the time it requires a little time and effort for you to see the fruits of your labour.

Make it happen for YOU, however and whenever you can, keep a little sunshine on your face, keep a lot of love in your heart, have a little patience, have a few fights, keep your chin up, but above all, above all.... just have some fun doing the damn thing.

much love

STOP THE MADNESS!!

2009-08-25T10:32:00.000+01:00

Today i was gonna blog about when you're away from people, and how absence can magnify your affection for someone or something.
But i won't, mainly because i came across this article on the business week site, and how there are now groups of Facebook supporting the denial of the Holocaust and that Facebook itself refuses to remove these groups.
As a historical event, that i am very interested in, i find such an occurence like this saddening to say the least, for a group of people to perpetuate hate and openly discuss and deny something that changed the world we live in is inconceivable to me.
The killing of 4million people based on their religion and race is something i may never be able to grasp, understand, agree with or accept, which got me thinking about the world we live in, our "free" world.
I understand that Facebook isn't a government or a state institution.If its owners and shareholders want to be associated with holocaust deniers it must be ready to be accused of holocaust denial itself for allowing the publication of such material. Personally I have no symapthy with a company who has no morals and until it removes the group I will consider it anti-semitic. I don't think FB should be forced to ban this group - freedom of speech is something we are blessed with and should be allowed regardless of how distasteful it may be at times.
In a time where we see an entire race of people hated because of stereotypes, where most people have an opinion on something they know absolutely fuck all about, i find myself worried about even some of the people i know, for they too proliferate this opinion, and arguing with these fools isn't worth the energy as their ignorance furthers my dislike for them and their opinion.
However if you're reading this and you support and believe that the subjective opinion of groups like this are going to be able to exert sufficient influence on our society, myself and on objectivity and sane people, then you, quite frankly, are an idiot, and i would greatly appreciate that you now get the fuck off my blog.

"Every fool finds a greater one to admire them. "

If not now, when?

2009-08-25T10:11:00.000+01:00

These last 2/3 weeks have been quite good actually, for the first time in a while, i'm fairly problem free, and the problems i do have, we all have.
I'll tell you why, the other night, around 2 in the morning, i'm in the car with my friend Brian, and we're on the motorway back from my uni, where i'd just finished collecting the last of my stuff, a sad time for me.
But in the car, inbetween changing the CD, the radio was on Magic, and mellow Magic was on, if you've never listened to radio late at night, you should, you'd be surprised how theraputic it is.
So we're in the car and Marvin Gaye - heard it through the grapevine comes on, and we're just jammin in the car, singing the lyrics, busting a move to the song, at the top of our lungs, WE'RE SINGING IT BETTER THAN MARVIN..and this carried on for a good hour, as tune after tune played, oblivious to the other people in their cars, and probably oblivious to eachother actually, but at that moment, i realised, for the first time in a long time, i was happy.
And that got me thinking, i don't have these moments enough man.
I mean, I laugh everyday, because the most wasted of days are the one's without laughter, right? The moments can be with anyone, family or friends, and even total strangers, a certain Ms Meechan knows exactly what i mean, Buggin Out @ Bugged Out...good times.
After the journey home, we're in the car laughin' at ourselves at how crazy we are sometimes, that inbetween the seriousness of life, there are moments, that no matter how ridiculous you may look to everyone else, that you gotta have and embrace, where you can be a child again, that all the bullshit, all the bills, the stress, the love life, the everything, that we can still act as stupid as we want, because we can..and not give fuck either way.
I watch Richard Pryor alot, and have read his book twice, and i'm reading it again right now, he rode this ride until the wheels fel off, up until the day he died, and he said something that stuck with me, that i will carry with me forever, always remember to keep some sunshine on your face.
And i'll be damned if i let this shit get me down anymore and block my sunshine.
I'm working towards a goal at the moment, to become a copywriter, to finish my 5 year plan, to make the most of the opportunities i'm given, both in my personal and academic/professional life.
I know a person can't be happy all the time, because that would make life boring and mundane, this contrast between misery and joy is what allows us to acknowledge the good times and appreciate them more when they do happen.
At times we least expect. new people will walk through the door, and surprise us, just here to share a little of their sunhine with us. I hope while reading this you found a little bit of sunshine somehow, because i did, and if you have someone that wants to share their sunshine with you, then hey, Dr Pepper??

much love

Name your price

2009-08-25T10:10:00.000+01:00

I've recently become the subject, or rather the patient of patience, if that works.
For reasons i can't divulge right now, but i live in hope that the cause which i anxiously wait for is worthy of my patience.
Naturally we are all forced to be calm and collected at certain points in our lives, because the manifestation of all these virtues will be our reward.
We may not see it at the time, we may not even see it when it happens, but the day will come and we'll realise that playing the waiting game, for the right reasons, is the most challenging, yet satisfying game of all, and i'm not one for games, but i do endorse this one.
In the 1700's there was a political philosopher and theorist name Edmund Burke, Burke was a man of many words having been a member of Parliament for some time in his life, and being what some claim to be the founder of modern conservatism, and regardless of his political stance the man knew about patience. As the opposition to imperialism and the French Revolution he became respected by his peers more for his ability to think individually and not as they would want him....
ok this isn't a history lesson, lol, just thought i'd add some background, anyway, he believed that our patience will achieve more than our force, and i carry that with me everyday, because i know, that no matter how hard you try and no matter how much you try to convince someone otherwise, there are just some things that, even if they agree with you, they can only do so in their time.
I try my best to not force people into things, to not usher them in the direction my path leads, but to observe and show them, that maybe, one day, we can walk our paths together side by side.
Patiece is always a good thing to have, to harness and hold, but I'm not a fool, and i'm sure we all know that abused patience turns to anger. Something i was told a long time ago by my mum, have a price and when it gets too expensive, you have to get out, name your price.
I think the line beware the fury of a patient man is something we should all take head of, but thats another blog for another day

Patience

much love.

they're only words...right?

2009-08-25T09:51:00.000+01:00

Went to the D&AD New Blood show yesterday, and got to be in a workshop with Jon Sayers, a copywriter from Publicis. Check out their site, seems like a good place to learn one's craft i reckon.Anyway, we learnt a few new things about copywriting and what it means to be a good copywriter and what constitutes good copy.
Now for anyone reading who doesn't know what "copy" is..it's eerything you read on an advert, print ads, billboards, posters etc.. and it's also everything the voiceover on an advert says, tv, radio etc.
I sat there and listened to everything people listed, persuasive, patient, emotive, apathetic, engaging, versatile..many more were on the list, it got
me thinking about my relationship with words and the power of words and what i say and how i say things affects those around me.
Rudyard Kipling said "Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. Not only do words infect, egotise, narcotise, and paralyse, but they enter into and colour the minutest cells of the brain"....
in that case, does that make copywriters the drug barons of the ad world?? excellent...
Alot of the time i find people telling me, it's not what you said that affected me, it's how you said it. Now what i said may have been positive or negative, depending on who i was speaking to at the time, but in some profound way, i get told, it's different, and that's where i feel my relationship with language and words differs, and that's why i want to become a copywriter in the advertising world.
Poems, Bokos, Music Lyrics, Movie Quotes, conversaton on the phone, i can do for hours, for me, verbal and written communication are the most compelling forms of expression, "don't beleive me ask Michael, see Martin, see Malcom, see Biggie, see Pac, see success and it's outcome" however, contradicting that, i'm a visual person too, a great visual is amazing, but i believe reading something and imagining it for yourself is at least one dimension better than if you actually see it.
ok here are two examples

pretty cool right, nice visual and i have an appreciation for time and effort gone into this?

now, compare a simple visual with some damn cool copy, and this is why i love copywriting.

"Rules of the Garage
believe you can change the world
work quickly, keep the tools unlocked, work whenever
know when to work alone and when to work together
share ---tools, ideas. Trust you colleagues
no politics, no beuraucracy (these are ridiculous in the garage)
the customer defines a job well done
radical ideas are not bad ideas
invent different ways of working
make a contribution every day, if it doesn't contribute
it doesn't leave the garage
believe that together we can do anything
Invent"

Back to the workshop, we were asked towards the end to write a paragraph or so, about something or someone that means anything to us, but we have to begin every sentence with the same word/words...it's funny how in the zone you can get through such a basic excercise...and in a weird way, subconsciously i think my outcome was inspired by the Rules Of The Garage...check it out

And every year you make me smile,
And every year you make me angry,
And every year you give me hope,
And every year you dissappoint me,
And every year i'll sing for you,
And every year you'll hear me,
And every year i will sit and watch you,
And every year i will stand up for you,
And every year you will frustrate me,
And every year you make a fool of me,
And every year you make me drink too much,
And every year we meet 38 times,
And every year we trave to Europe,
And every year i will compare to the last,
And every year i will remember,
And every year i will love,
And every year is Liverpool's year,
Every year except this year

a dedication to my beloved Liverpool FC and just falling short of wining the title in 2008/2009..always next year i suppose.
much love

Special Mention

2009-08-25T08:09:00.001+01:00

This blog i am dedicating to the women who we have had the pleasure of knowing, or still know. The one’s who showed us what it really means to be yourself, the ones who make us die inside every time we see or hear them cry, to see her sad hurts more than anything Dante could have put to paper.
Consider this my dedication to she who changed our lives forever, to she who we will always remember, to she who we once fell in love with, to she who we are in love with and to she who we will be in love with.
These good women are a testament to our souls, they are the ones who teach us more about ourselves than any before her, for us, she’s our wife, lover, friend, or ex. Some will be on left to walk their own path, but none shall be forgotten.
I firmly believe that in life you are allowed the privilege of having a woman walk into your life with the clothes on her back, and walk away with your soul in her pockets. This privilege happens at certain points in time when we least expect them to. This privilege we should always be grateful for, for one day we will sit back and remember just why we love women as we do. For all men, there is a living, breathing example of her in their life, a woman who we can spot in a crowd of thousands, someone who's scent will remain with you forever.
Respect and honour will belong to these women for all time,for there is in every true womans heart, a spark of havenly fire that lies dormant in the bright light of prosperity, but which kindles up and blazes and beams in the dark hours of adversity and new day of affection and love.
True Women (womyn) of the world, a salute from idontliketea.

I'm not afriad of storms...

2009-08-25T08:08:00.001+01:00

Snow storms don't bother me, been in a couple, Brian and I, was quite an experience, both scary and fun at the same time...

Rain Storms don't bother me either, in fact i like them, sititng at home, under the covers, lights off, TV on watching your favourite show, Friends if you must know...
Sand Storms, who's scared of sand, no seriously??

hell it could be Desert Storm for all i care, none of these compares to the storms we face everyday. The moments when you have no clue what to do, when all seems dead and buried. You know somehow, no matter how bad it gets, we're always there to, as they say, weather the storm.

Yea sometimes it feels like we're alone, trapped on a dingy in the middle on nowhere, canned goods running out, dieing for a pee, and/or a KFC, and as far as the eye can see, is just water, lots and lots of water, and then it starts raining, but you know how it is, it never rains but it pours.
we have a ship to run, we have to keep this bitch afloat, we're the captain and commander, and yet 2 hands never seem enough in these most deperate of times. In my life, the storms have been represented by family, friends, girlfriends, school, work and even my own self torture, but at the end of it all, i look back and realise it was all just a storm in a teacup, each one no bigger than the other, i reckon we're just gonna have to ride it out, no matter how desolate and lost you may feel, it's all about perception. This is how i see it, and i'll reference my favourite subject here, love.

remember that girl or guy who you were so madly in love with, remember when they broke your heart and you thought that nothing would ever compare?

Then you found the someone you're with now, even if that someone is just yourself, how small and unimportant does that person now seem?? It's like this, if it was that bad then, and it's this good now, how awesome will it be the next time around....so just hold on for dear life, because nothing is more rewarding than knowing that you came through with a few bumps and bruises, a scar or two, but even scars dissappear, and so do storms, and once more the sea will be calm...for now.

I'm not afraid of Storms, for i'm simply learning how to sail my ship.
much love

Open your mind & see the circus in the sky

2009-08-25T08:06:00.000+01:00

Thought i'd post a few of my favourte things, songs, movies, short clips, ads, if you find something you've never heard of have a look, you'll never know unless you try, something i'm learning to embrace of late, hence why i've not been blogging for a few weeks...and now back to regular scheduled programme..
music
Ross Copperman - All She Wrote
Vertcal Hrizon Everything You Want (thanks Jess)
John Mayer - Free Falln' (now one of my favourite songs ever)
Tracy Chapman - Fast Car (a song that will always remind me of someone)
Lionel Richie ft Lyfe Jenning - Easy (live) (thats why i'm eaaassssyyyyyy)
movies
Almost Famous (a lifetime over summer)
Friday Night Lights (greatest sports movie.....ever)
Seven Pounds (why has Will Smith not won an Oscar yet)
A Beautiful Mind (Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful heart)
Meet Joe Black (when Death calls, someone has to show him around)
Good Will Hunting (i think i fell in love with Minnie Driver after this movie)
Random Clips & Ads
Yellow Sticky Notes (quite hypnotic)
Samuel L Jackson Barclaycard, 2, 3, (i think this was the first ever ad i watched that made me think..."cool", great job by Sam, also trying to memorise the script took me ages..still can't do it)
Richard Pryor on Love can listen to him talking all day
ok that's me done for now, but that's just a list of some of my favourite stuff, feel free to share your favourites with me..
much love.
Posted in

takes time, but i'll get there.

2009-08-25T08:05:00.002+01:00

Haven't been here for a while now, dunno why, been feeling a little funny of late, who knows?
anyway, had my birthday a few weeks ago, nothing special, the older you get, the more insignificant it becomes to you and the people around you, unfortunately, that is the way of the world.

This got me thinking about growth , and what it means to me and to other people.
To be honest, i'm still a little stumped.

We all have out own little reasons for doing some of the things we do, other things are just inate and we have no true reason for these things. Like being attracted to somone you like, or likeing a certain colour, sure, we have all the obvious reasons, and we base those on time spent with someone, or something, and with these experiences, we grow...or we're supposed to.

My growth at uni has seen me , make some good friends, make some new friends, make some new enemies even. It's all part of the process, suffice to say, i've enjoyed every moment of it.
my growth in life over the last say 3 years has been crazy. I can say, without doubt, i'v learned more about the word and myself in this time than at any other juncture in my time here on Earth.

i've learnt about love, about hate, about joy and about pain. But none of these things do i regret. And i think thats the main thing here, the not regretting anything, because i can hold my head up and know, that through all of those things, i gave my all, i said and did everything i could, through the love, i expressed myself in different and new ways, i was scared, but hey, who isn't with new things, met new people but re-visited old souls, "i may have known you for 6 months, but our souls met lifetimes ago", through the hate, i knocked the haters back, didn't let the hate phase me, and kept moving, through the joy, i shared it wth my friends and family and we will always have those memories, through the pain, i endured it on my own, i'm not one to share my pain, i just think i should deal with it on my own way, yea i talk about it with my best friends, but ultimately, only i feel how hard it is was to wake up every morning and not sleep at night because of it.

ok this is getting kinda soppy, but as always, what i'm getting at is this, we all grow in different ways, we all have our own paths to walk, no matter how bumpy the ride may be, the one thing i've grown to become is reflective, to look back on th things i've experienced and learn from them, and to try and keep at the good things that make me happy, and to kick out the not so good things that make me unhappy and to not make the same mistakes again, because there is nothing worse than making the same mistakes over and over again.

so the next time you're hurting, or laughing, or simply bored at work, playing with the brightness on your computer screen, just remember, it's all part of the process baby, slow it may seem at times, just walk at your pace, it's the only way you know how.

much love.

Leave me alone, but comment on my status please.

2009-08-25T08:02:00.000+01:00

I had this girl leave me a voice mail at work, so I called her at home, and then she emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to her mobile, and she poked me on facebook but added me to her top 8 on myspace and tweeted that she just met someone amazing, and now I just have to go around checking all these different portals just to figure out if she's around next week for drinks.
ok, maybe that didn't happen, but it's not inconceivable, in the age where it's getting harder and harder to get some time to yourself, when you eventually do, you're sharing it with the world.
i have, a phone, two numbers, two emails, a facebook, a twitter, a myspace, msn, this blog and skype, all of which i use and are active parts of my life.

i know people who are much much worse than i am, seemingly addicted to sharing their life with others, addicted to wall posts, pokes, tweeting, notifications blah blah blah, u knwo how it is.
i think it's kinda sad, mainly because it's killing our people skills and face to face communication, i gave up my facebook for 3 months because i had to focus on university and just keep my head in the books, peoples responses had me worried about our society, met with anger, confusion and curiosity, my de-facebooking was a topic of discussion, am i the only one wo finds it peculiar that a simple internet profile is what people will judge you on.

Multinational organisations have a facebook, TV shows have a twitter all to get in the know about their audiences under the guise of being, one of "them".
it's got to stop, but it doesn't seem to be any time soon, so i shall ride the wave and just see where it takes us
signing out, logging off, hanging up, peace out.

hidden in plain view

2009-08-25T08:00:00.000+01:00

After reading this article on Dubai i find that sometimes (most times) what we see is not what we get.This has always been a problem for me in advertising, and i became slightly obsessed, ok fine a lot obsessed, with reading the small print on adverts, mainly print ads, but also, TV ads, you know like on video games ads you see the "not actually game footage" written in the most conspicously small type you'll ever see, right at the bottom, which flashes for all but 2.4 seconds, and then it's gone.i guess this all started as a kid, watching Cartoon Network or whatever obscure kids televsion they showed in the 90's, (on a seperate note, they need to bring back CDUK), and "those" toy adverts would come on, and get i'd get all excited at the thought of dragging my mum around trying to find said toy, only for them to dash all my hopes and dreams, with "batteries sold seperately". What the hell? what are these so called batteries? how many do i need? are they AA or AAA? and where the fuck do i get them from...?, ok maybe a bit exagerated, but i was 6, what more did i have to worry about???in a way, i guess we all have some sort of small print to us, our little defects that we don't tell people until it's too late for them to walk away, men* and women both have their small print right??anyway, i think my obsession is curbing ever so slightly**, because as i've learnt to love advertising, and the creative process, and the amount of thought that goes into every good ad i see, i've realised that the disclosures are the business side of advertising, the bit we as advertisers have to include, even if we don't want to, because ultimately it's all about the things we aim to do, differentiate, inform, remind and persuade, and i guess the small print is just the extra gravy.So for the best part, lets learn to appreciate the little uncomfortable details, at least we're.warned before hand.

who needs batteries..........................??

*will eventually let you down and embarass you at any given opportunity

**i'm still obsessed with it and always will be, don't judge me.

V is for Victory

2009-08-25T07:57:00.000+01:00

The new Nike campaign involving sports stars from all over the world has caught my eye, mainly because i'm writing on one of them for an essay i'm doing for my Contextual Stdies unit at uni, there is just something about these posters that speaks to me.Maybe its the passion the subjects are displaying, maybe it's the vivid use of colours, god this is sounding like my essay all over again.

more V for Victory http://limitedhype.com/2009/03/nike-v-for-victory/

Pretty cool huh,? was watching the making of video, and the photographer, Rankin, is a visionary, hopefully one day i can boast such ads in my portfolio. I think what drew me to these ads more than anything is the emotion captured in the ads, for a while now i've been looking into doing some sort of photography, mainly on my phone, lol, but i think i'm doing ok, and with time i feel i've become more attentive to things when doing the photography thing, ad alot more attentive to what's not always obvious, which helps my creative process in creating ads i reckon

the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjDKNWzV14g

Nike Advertising - a salute from "I DON'T IKE TEA"